TYPES OF PEOPLE IN A NIGERIAN WORK PLACE

What's up Fam!
Yas! Cheers to the weekend!

So, this post is inspired by an article I read on News Republic yesterday. As I read the article titled;
"6 Types of Toxic People You Should Never Befriend at Work" see link https://bit.ly/2nIZrwT , I laughed really hard because I could totally relate to every example that was cited therein. Working in different organisations overtime has helped me in meeting new people, building my social network, growing my career, developing my work ethics as well as studying and understanding humans in general. Trust me, you don't learn all these in one day; and even when you think you've learnt it all, the dynamism and transitioning of the human mind, character, behavior and attitude keeps defying your "understanding. However, there are some of these traits that are static and not susceptible to change thus, we're sure of finding them everywhere we migrate to just like MTN. So below, I have listed out some types of people we are definitely bound to meet at work places. If you're already an employer or employee, you should have met all or some of them already

The certified workers: these are the real employees of every organization. They're there to do what they were originally hired for. They resume early, work their buts off effectively & efficiently and deliver timely without compromising quality. As a result of their strength in the organization, they are sometimes considered "too serious" by other colleagues. Some of them are friendly; some are warm, some are stiff, some are just in between but, they are cordial with everyone. Most importantly, they mind their business. They rarely interfere with their colleagues' affairs and when there're ongoing conversations about the company/organisation/the Boss, they activate their ghost mode. As strong as they are, they are very few in organisations; I don't know why.

The "awa ni e" workers: these ones are those who turn the work place into an ethnic union. They literally forget that it's actually a work place and not a location for village meetings thus everyday is a "get together" for them. Their language of communication is their shared dialect and not the English language (I'm sure we can relate already). They're not very productive but they sure know how to do "eye service". When they see the Boss, they become very restless and energetic, gallivanting the entire perimeter of the office to show that they are busy. They're the ones who resume late and leave early. Their productivity is solely driven by the immediate rewards and they sure know how to be "committed" to growing the company ONLY when the Boss can see them.

The Petty ones: You don't want to be friends or enemies with them. They'll make your life miserable. They literally come to work everyday with invisible binoculars to see who is working and who isn't whilst they're lazying about. They dish out clap backs without thinking. In their opinion, they deserve to be respected and can't bear it when a fellow colleague stands up to them. The sad thing about this set is, they've got a million flaws which they don't see but is obvious to others who dare not tell them about it. They derive pleasure in causing and judging rifts between colleagues so that at the end of the day, they would be the ones to settle the issues and then be branded the peace makers. My advise, NEVER take advice from these people; it'll be you shooting yourself in the leg.

The Know it all: You see these ones, na only them sabi book. You no go school o! In fact, if they work in accounting and you're in marketing, they'll teach you your job and try in every way to convince other colleagues that you do not know your job. They deliberately leave their tasks and question you about your relevance to the company and whenever you ask them a question, they smugly refer you to "go and read it on google" but not without first giving an irrelevant lecture about what you didn't ask in the first place. They're never wrong in their overloaded heads. You can't even have a descent conversation with them cos your opinion wouldn't matter. And if they're married with kids and you're not; ah! okpari! you're intellectually finished! So; the deal is, never engage them in an argument, except you've got the mental energy.

The Smilers: This set of people will do any and everything to be in everyone's good books and strangely, it works well for them. According to someone I know, "I'm sorry" is their second name. They can apologize for Africa and they smiled and laugh a lot. Even when they're upset; they wear the smile like a second skin. Colleagues can't really tell who they are on the inside cos their ability to shield their real personality is simply amazing. I see this as a strength sometimes but other times, I feel like they unconsciously present themselves as a push over to the savage colleagues who enjoy taking advantage of everything.

The Pervs: These ones need deliverance. They're the ones that watch porn during work hours and when they see a fellow colleague; male/female, they want to touch them or hug them. You hear them make silly comments or asking suggestive questions such as, "you look sexy today, I feel like giving you a sweet hug right now, what did you do last night? Hope you got some over the weekend, Is your man hitting it right? etc". They just can't help themselves. What do you do? Set boundaries; don't allow them get too close cos people like this will definitely blackmail you if you don't play along.

The Warm Hearts: These ones are naturally warm at heart. They are the "go to" in every office. They provide the warm desk for everyone that needs a breather, they are friendly and approachable but most importantly, they mind their business without kissing anybody's ass. They're not the way they are cos they want to please anyone; they're just naturally so.

So, this is basically my observation from my years of working in different organizations. I know the type of office colleague I am; which category do you fall in? Comment below and if you have any other category you feel I didn't talk about, feel free to share.

Cheers!
Remember, this is my Frankly Speaking opinion.

What If?

This is just a brief post to cause us to THINK. Yeah, I know; most of my posts causes people to think but this one's sort of different. It'a a rhetorical question sort of post. But you can choose to provide answers anyways.

So, I'm currently in the office where I run a 9-5 job, I'm creating graphic designs and marketing content for the company, listening to Travis Greene bless and empower my spirit woman with his gospel melodies and then a thought struck me like lightening. I had to pause my roving mind to ask myself; Glory, what if you were deaf? Would you be able to listen and appreciate the gifted voice of Travis Green? What if the only way you can hear is by reading lips? What if you can't see? Would you be able to see the smile lighting up your face as you appreciate the lyrics of his songs?

You see, I couldn't answer my questions. I still can't. I'm overwhelmed with so much gratitude for completeness. You see, I have someone really close to me who's deaf and dumb and growing up in the same family, sharing the same blood running through our veins, sharing the same surname, sharing the same parents and siblings, I found it difficult to understand why my sister couldn't hear the things I heard or appreciate the noisy environment we grew up in. I found it difficult to understand why she could only sign to me in quince English and not pidgin as we enjoy using for communication among ourselves as kids. Even when I finally learnt sign language so I could communicate with her freely, attend her Jehovah's witness meetings with her just so I could understand the peculiarities of her world, I still found it sometimes frustrating that she couldn't give the level of enthusiasm and excitement I would give to an experience or situation. And when she got really mad at me or any of my siblings, I got angry and felt she had no right to get too pissed but she could be pissed just a lil bit.

Ah! Those years, my naive little mind lacked understanding and even though we were best of friends, I still didn't understand why she was deaf and we weren't. I'm not deaf and dumb now. I don't pray to be but today, for the first time, I'm picturing myself in that situation, having that sort of struggle, that sort of life, that sort of foreverness to deal with and I just keep asking myself,;

 Glory, what if?

My sister is married with kids, she's alive and well. Yes! She has a life of her own and I'm thankful for that.

I just want us to take this few minutes to ask ourselves these questions, ponder on them and use well what we've been given freely.

1. What if we couldn't speak
2. What if we couldn't hear
3. What if we couldn't feel
4. What if we couldn't breathe
5. What if we couldn't walk
6. What if we couldn't touch
7. What if we couldn't see
8. What if we couldn't eat or drink
9. What if we weren't male or female
10. What if we were animals
11. What if we were plants
12. What if we were objects
13. What if we didn't exist at all
14. What if we had no love
15. What if we had no family
16. What if we had no friends
17. What if we had no kids
18. What if we had no hope
19. What if we have no future
20. What if we had nothing at all?

WHAT IF?

Use rightly what you've been given freely

Cheers!

(Sorry, it turned out to be a bit lengthy. I write too much)

Ladies; Do You Really Want to Get Married? (THIS ISN'T A FEMINIST POST!)

Hey Ladies!

Happy fabulous weekend again!

Yes, I'm back with my usual musing and today, I'll be sharing something that's been a brain breaker for me. This post stems from the numerous falsities we see everyday. I'm talking about couples who pose to be happy in the public's eye while inside their homes, it's a physical or mental warfare. I'm also referring to the numerous planned or unplanned public proposals we see everyday on and offline. Most of these people get so carried away with the thrill of being spot on and just because, they don't want to be left out of the numbers of ladies who've been publicly proposed to, they accept, or they don't want to disgrace the guy proposing, they accept whilst panicking within them, wondering if they are ready for what's to come. Some people rush out after 3 months, 6 months or 1 year.

But before I continue, here are some questions I want us to answer as honestly as possible. Let's be real. Don't be shy, don't answer "nicely" or "sadly" cos you're scared someone that knows you will recognize you and talk about you. Just let it out so we can all learn. If society, our family, friends, the church and all institutions that stands for "morality" didn't deem it fit the norm for every young woman to get married at a certain age, would you ever consider getting married? Would you ever consider sharing your time, your space, your secrets, your truths, your lies, your weakness, your strengths, your flaws, your perfections, your thoughts, your mind, your needs, your wants, your ambitions, your fears, your dreams, your achievements, your beauty, your body, your soul and your heart with just one person for the rest of your life? For those of you who are already married; if you knew what you know now before you ever got married, if you knew who your spouse really is way before you ever married them, if you knew the reality of what it entails being a mother, a wife and a married woman, would you have ever gotten married?👧

I for one have thought about these questions in the past and currently, I'm still thinking about them cos according to societal standards, I'm ripe for marriage. In the past; it was one of my key prayer points to get married at the age of 25. The plan was this;

1. Get admission into school at the age of 18 (cos I finished secondary school at the age of 16)
2. Graduate University at age 21
3. Finish NYSC at age 22/23 (meet my husband in the process)
4. Do my Masters between age 23/24
5. Get married at age 25! 

LOL

What a plan I had!

Sorry, it didn't work out that way (don't ask what happened) and strangely, I'm glad it didn't cos I wouldn't know the things I know now, I probably wouldn't be a blogger, I probably wouldn't be doing what I want to do now, I probably would be nursing a mini me or doing God knows what. I don't know but I'm glad I'm not yet married. Sounds weird right? You might be thinking, "how can she be 28, still unmarried but yet happy?" or "she's just consoling herself cos she's almost late". Lol. That's totally not the case here. This is a case of finding the self , the exhilarating feeling of self discovery, the joy of setting new priorities plus working towards new goals for a great future. 

I've given much thought about the questions I asked and the truth is, it's tough. Marriage isn't just a decision you make because you have butterflies in your tummy, it's not about your instincts telling you to "just do it", it's not about society pressurizing you to "hurry up and settle down!", it's not about your family comparing you to "your mates who already have three kids while you're still stewing in the old maid's room", it's not about what people generally say or will say about your time and status, it's basically all about YOU. YOU will need to be mentally, emotionally, psychologically and financially (realistically, to some extent) prepared to be involved in such a commitment. YOU will be the one giving your ALL to someone as well as taking on that person's ALL too. YOU will be the one shedding yourself to create an entirely new YOU for a new set of people. YOU will be the one giving up your body for housing and producing new helpless beings that'll be dependent on your sanity to exist and YOU will have to learn to become the manager of a micro community of persons called "family". Are you ready for this?

I have a married friend in her early thirties who would always say that she wished she had waited just a little bit more before settling down. According to her, it's sweet the first one year, then afterwards, you start seeing things you never knew that your partner had. And sometimes when you feel like running back to your old self, your family and society reminds you that you had sworn to remain there for better for worse. If you ever even considered a divorce, the stigma of becoming a single mother would have demoralized you before you even started thinking about the hardship that awaits you outside your home . She would also complain about her body which had changed so much since birthing her kids. For her, she thought she was ready for the change but after having two kids, she realized there was no going back.

She's doing pretty great for herself but I guess marriage has a million ways of taking you unawares. What you think isn't what you end up getting, forget the WOW things you see on TV and on the internet. But all the same, it's different strokes for different folks. Her story might be this way but other ladies might have a different tale to tell, who knows?

So if you ask me if I really want to get married and have kids, I'll say yes BUT, I want to be mentally, emotionally and psychologically prepared for such a commitment. I want to be able to come to terms with the fact that my body will become a safe haven to a person or persons, I want to do it on my own terms and not because there is pressure from anywhere or anyone and I think these things are key before taking such a leap in life. 

So; to all single ladies, considering the few things stated here,  DO YOU REALLY WANT TO GET MARRIED? Drop your comments in the comments section below and feel free to share this post. If you have any experience to share, please do so freely and let's learn more.

Cheers!

 

Let's Talk About "SELF LOVE"

Hello Ladies and Gentlemen!
A happy New Month and a chilling weekend to you all.😃

So, the issue of "self love" has been on my mind to write about for a while now and I thought; the best time to write about it is NOW. I'm sick and tired of seeing people's captions on Social Media as;
"#self love"
"love yourself"
"only me matter"
"me, myself and I"
"my life, my rules"
"I am King"
"I love me" e.t.c

Everything they ever post about is me, myself and I. If you're one of those that can't do without using or thinking any of these captions, you need Jesus.

Don't get me wrong; I'm not against this concept. I mean, I'm a petite 28 year old female, I'm not exactly big in all ramifications and when people look at me, they tell me they love my body which is something I've been struggling with for a while now. Thus, I've been learning to love my body. So, you see, I've got my own physical insecurities as well as other life insecurities too. Also, a fat person could be learning to love themselves to reject the societal misconception of the true meaning of "beautiful", a dark skinned woman/man confesses self love daily with the "melanin" mantra cos they are now embracing that black is beautiful, a tailor sings "self love" while riding the machine cos he/she has learnt to think beyond the name to the status of "fashion designer' and so on and so forth. All of these are positive vibes, however, I have issues with the way people abuse the meaning of "Self Love"

Let's at least understand the literal meaning of self love; it is what it is, the love of one's self. Going further to understand what it stands for, it is basically the promotion of a high self esteem for individuals to love themselves regardless of their flaws, to believe in themselves and to see themselves capable of greatness. This is basically to kill depression, hopelessness as well as the "I am not enough" syndrome that could eventually lead to a mental breakdown, suicide attempts or suicide itself. But what we have these days; sadly, is contrary to the true meaning of this concept.

Self love now means vanity, selfishness and narcissism. It is now extreme obsession with the self regardless of the negative impact a "self love" decision could have on others. Self love is now a moral flaw and it is upsetting when you see people displaying this stupidity with such relish like they are doing the world a favor by being selfish.

Please,

1. self love is not you hoarding money from your friends and then going ahead to lavish it on yourself cos you feel you deserve to be spoilt extravagantly.
2. Self love is not you being mean to others and then being over the top nice to yourself. That's selfishness.
3. Self love is not you being petty all the time, that's your lack of emotional intelligence.
4. Self love is not being too proud to regard people as being humans just like you, that 's you being egoistic.
5. Self love is not you seeing yourself as always blameless while others are always wrong, that's you being manipulative.
6. Self love is not you deriving pleasure in always breaking the rules, 
7. It is not you projecting a trophy image of yourself to people while you project a false image of others,
8. It isn't you having an entitlement mentality, always wanting to be treated specially than others, always wanting people to pity you and be considerate to you while you aren't to others, or always wanting a preferential treatment than others
9. Self love is not you being very charismatic and persuasive with people for your own self gratification. You tend to show false interest in people just because you want to get something from them and the moment you do, you drop them without a second thought.
10. Self love is not you having an exaggerated sense of self importance. You always feel that without you or your "magnificent" contributions to people's lives, they can't survive.
11. Self love is not you spreading negative emotions like throwing tantrums or getting upset at the slightest opportunity because you aren't getting any attention.
12. Self love is not you being too quick to judge, blame, criticize or name tag while you are extremely sensitive to criticism. You never want to hear that you're wrong
13. Self love isn't you being unapologetically manipulative. You always use people as an extension of yourself. You always spread guilt and want people to always be indebted to you. You want people to sacrifice their all for you just because, in your tiny little head, you think "I DESERVE IT ALL"
14. Self love is not you consistently cheating on your partner and then feeling hurt when they do it back at you.

Self love is basically;

1. loving yourself in an unbiased way
2. being able to take responsibility for your actions
3. having a positive mental attitude towards yourself, your flaws and not just embracing those flaws but working on them to become a gem that projects you positively to the world
4. allowing others to breathe just as you're breathing
5. investing in yourself and investing your time to more positive ventures
6. building your mind and protecting your thoughts 
7. working on your emotions
8. working at building a great personality that doesn't require you to bring down others to be elevated
9. Accepting people for who they are but aiming to make an impact in their lives
10. working on your spirituality to spread love and not hate
11. NOT BEING A NARCISSIST
12. and having a high self esteem.

So, if you're a self love addict, check yourself cos you just might be at the verge of becoming a selfish, egoistic, vain, morally decadent narcissist. 

Remember, this is my Frankly Speaking opinion.

Drop yours in the comments section below.

Cheers!

MOVIE REVIEW (ACRIMONY by Tyler Perry) PT 2

So in my previous post, I wrote about Melinda. Here, I'll be focusing on the the rest of the characters in ACRIMONY.

Robert: First of; I must confess that Robert is persistent, consistent and a relentless dream chaser. For someone who has been continuously rejected for over eighteen years, I must say that unlike Melinda, his wife, he is one hell of a strong being both psychologically and emotionally.  However, I'll still state that Robert was a weak man. Yes! He was pathetically weak! He took advantage of Melinda. He was fully aware of the depth of her love for him, he knew that she would go to any mile to please him so he conveniently settled into the role of the poor orphan who needs help, love and care and when he found himself a young woman like Melinda who was comfortable with playing the role of provider, he tagged along with promises of a better life which when it eventually came, he didn't think twice about closing that chapter of his life that reminded him of his past where he had to be the leech. He was too quick to adjust into his new role of being the billionaire with the best house, yacht, cars, and wife; all of which he had continuously promised Melinda for eighteen years.

Although, he loved Melinda, I must confess that Robert was selfish. Jeez! He is manipulative which is evident in the way he got Melinda to spend all of her inheritance in getting him a car, supporting his research/ battery invention. He didn't have to ask, all he had to do was to paint a sorry picture of him losing years of his "hard work" or a perfect picture of both of them living in a pent house, driving the best cars, going on yacht cruises, him buying her a diamond ring and all the best things of life. He had her "mumu button" and he subtly pressed it for 18 years.

For me, the cheat scene which led to Melinda's accident was quite significant in the movie. What I saw at that point was what Robert was capable of doing when he turned wealthy and I think the young Melinda at that point saw that as well which was what triggered her temper into causing the accident that cost her her womb.

Robert truly loves his wife as he proved it by not cheating on her for eighteen years, but his fault is that he allowed his obsession with his battery/dream to cause a strain in his relationship with his wife. The least he could do since he couldn't get a great job and support her financially was to give her all the emotional support she needed but instead, he starved her sexually for months. Then when he became wealthy, he tries to clear his conscience by gifting her a $10 million check and her mother's house she had invested in his dream. How convenient! For me, that was the height of selfishness! And then some of you were saying, "Melinda should have just walked away and built a life with the $10 million bla bla ba ..." WOW! How does that work out? Melinda's life is Robert! How was she supposed to build something she didn't have? Robert knew that Melinda wanted him back but he was comfortable staying away from the past that reminded him of his days of lack as a man.

Finally, what killed me that Robert did was, he had to go and marry Diana, the same girl he cheated on Melinda with. That not being enough, he gave her ALL the things he promised Melinda and a child even. I mean, for God's sake! Come on man! That was evil! Yeah, some of you will whine and say that "oh! but Diana was there for him when Melinda gave up on him. yen yen yen yen..." So f**king what?! I say! Melinda stood by him at his lowest for eighteen damn years! She gave him eighteen years of countless chances to become the genius he envisioned  for himself, for them. Yes he was relentless with his dream but he gave up on their love long before Melinda divorced him. Why couldn't he just give her another chance? Instead, he had easily moved on with Diana.

Let's be real. You see that life Robert kept promising Melinda, it wasn't tailored specifically for her. He created that life for himself and any other woman that would be available to share it with him when it came to reality. My conclusion on Robert is, he's strong willed but weak and selfish in character.

Diana: She was Robert's past one night stand who didn't even know she was a side chick. She's beautiful, classy and smart. But this is what I think of her. Owing to how she and Robert parted ways in the past, she was bent on not helping him set up a meeting with Mr. Preston whom he had been trying to see for eighteen years. She even went as far as asking the security of the building to call him and warn him not to come within inches of the premises anymore. But then her interest in him was rekindled again when she started watching videos of him and Melinda talking about their love for his wife and his Gayle Force Battery. During those moments, she became obsessed with the thought of being Mrs. Gayle.

Let's be honest, that look wasn't a look of  "oh! this man is smart. I believe in him" No way! She wanted him back and she knew Melinda's weak point. So, she feigned forgetfulness and left her purse in his truck knowing fully well that it will be found somehow by Melinda. It happened eventually and when through her help Robert gets his deal with Preston, she didn't waste anytime taking him in, getting pregnant and becoming Mrs. Robert Gayle.

She is  an opportunist. This is evident when she said to Robert "... when people leave your life, maybe you're supposed to let them go...". Those words came at the right time cos that was exactly the conviction that Robert needed to justify himself that he didn't need Melinda anymore. She gave him the illusion that he was safer with her. And seeing that it worked, Diana ensured he got the deal which sealed her own fate too. I mean, the look on her face when she introduced herself to Melinda said it all; "I won Bitch! I got the diamond and your trophy of a husband whom you almost killed me for years back!". And to rub it in, she had to show Melinda her diamond engagement ring first before turning her hand for the handshake. How savage can a woman get! She also had to rub it in that she was pregnant during their court session.

My thoughts about Diana; she saw an opportunity to get back at Melinda and she used it richly to get EVERYTHING Melinda would have had.

Brenda: She's Melinda's oldest sister and the mother figure of the three siblings after their parent's demise. Now; Brenda is loud, a snob and that one sibling you never want to interfere in your marriage or relationship. She was the first to write off Robert as a low lifer and the second to quickly admit when he struck gold, that she knew he was destined for great things. Check out the power of money in action there!

Although, she was right to some extent about him getting a job but she was disrespectful to Robert at every given opportunity which is wrong! In-laws! Nobody deserves the way she addressed Robert in ACRIMONY. She was too extra and she caused the divorce between the couple because she knew how hot tempered Melinda was and thus she wasted no time in going to Melinda's office to report the found purse! smh


My Conclusion

This movie is for everyone (18 years above). ACRIMONY isn't just a movie; it is a reality, a bitter one that exists in this here society and the world over. Tyler Perry has succeeded in capturing the intricacies of a typical flawed relationship and the fact that he left a blank slate for everyone to fill with their own thoughts about the movie is the icing on the cake for me. Tyler leaves a take home lesson for everyone so, I'm gonna list briefly some of the lessons I learnt out of the many lessons he shared.

1. Be consistent, persistent and strong willed just like Robert. Dreams do come true!
2. Never stop believing in yourself.
3. Never stop investing in yourself like Melinda. She gave up on herself development and invested all of her life, time, emotions, and strength for Robert hoping that he would lift her up which never happened. Bad decision!
4. Relationships shouldn't be parasitical
5. A man should man up, take responsibility and stop settling.
6. Women, you can't be the man in your marriage /relationship. You can only assist but you just can't. It's not your duty and it's not your role. Don't spoon feed your man. Allow him the space to man up!
7. Siblings/family interference in your relationship isn't always unhealthy for relationships/marriages. This is not to reject advise from family cos of course, they care but it should be to a minimum
8. Always stand up for your spouse. Defend them. Their honor is yours too.
9. Selfishness will only ruin you and not elevate you. Robert got the life he wanted, riding on the wings of selfishness but his ordeal with Melinda in the end will leave him a scar for life (that's if he lives to tell his story)
10. The fruit of anger is death in different ways. Melinda's anger cost her her womb, her marriage, her self esteem, her sanity and eventually her life.

As usual, this is me FRANKLY SPEAKING. If you have anything contrary to my thoughts, do not hesitate to comment below.

Cheers!

Now I can breathe.

MOVIE REVIEW (ACRIMONY by Tyler Perry) PT 1

I've had a love hate relationship with Hollywood's genius story teller, writer, director and producer Tyler Perry. My love for him started from the year of Diary of a Mad Black Woman. I can swear I've seen that movie a hundred times (I'm serious). I was smitten by Kimberly Elise who played the role of Helen and Tyler Perry's alter egos of course, Madea and Joe. However, my love for Tyler waned when he started the Madea trend. I got bored. It was too much comedy coming from one source who wasn't supposed to be too funny for me. I felt he had lost the Tyler's magic until I started watching his series; Too Close to Home and I felt, "Ok... maybe he's coming around" but I stll wasn't convinced that Tyler Perry still had that magic that made him stand out until I watched his latest movie, ACRIMONY which he starred Empire's no nonsense Queen, Tajaji P. Henson as well as other new faces.

When I saw the thriller, I knew I had to watch the movie. I just did finally and I'm pissed.
........................

Synopsis (from my point of view)

Acrimony is a movie about love gone sour, turned hate and vindictiveness. Tyler Perry tells the love story of two people whose relationship evolved from a young parasitical love to a toxic relationship. In the movie, we see how young Melinda, an average student invested her inheritance in advancing the dreams of her boyfriend, Robert. Robert is an orphan surviving on the grace of his school's partial scholarship and as a young man who has nobody's affection to survive on, he feeds off Melindas'.

Melinda on the other hand saw Robert as the Rock she never had in her Mom who died soon after they met. Thus, riding on the winds of gullibility and naivete she nurtured their relationship just as expected of any faithful and loyal spouse.

My general opinion about ACRIMONY
EVERYONE was selfish in the movie. EVERYONE is to blame for everything that happened in the movie.

My Thoughts About the Characters

MELINDA: I see her as a strong black woman who grew up before her time and even as a young woman who had lost the care of her not so encouraging Mom, she learnt quite too early to take care of not herself but another male human which was something alien to her. Her flaw is her anger and that led her to losing her womb when she took a death drive into Robert's trailer house the night she caught him cheating on her.

I define Melinda's love for Robert from the onset as gullible and naive. She proves her love for him in her own way by investing all the money she inherited from her dead parents and even her mother's house in his "Battery" dream. It didn't help that Robert knew her weakness and richly capitalized on it. All he had to do was to whine about something without asking directly and she would oblige him immediately. I feel like she was trying too hard to please him and in the process, she started playing the role of God in his life. Because she had the resources to assist him finish school, buy him a car (which I felt wasn't necessary), and also carry the home when they got married.

Despite her Sister's warnings about him being a gold digger who was using her to build his future, she stuck to him, believed in him, in his dreams and in their love.

In my opinion, Melinda is responsible for how she ended. LADIES! Allow your man to be The man! Let him provide for you and protect you as a man should. If you claim to be in a relationship with a man, you can only assist him to some extent but whilst doing that, don't forget to encourage him to get a paying job. I feel like Melinda overdid it! Yes, she loved Robert, Yes she believed in his dreams but why did she wait for 18 years to get really mad again?  Why did she allow her sisters to talk down on her man? Her husband? She allowed them to disrespect him at at every opportunity they had without defending him outright. She allowed her sisters to trample on Robert's ego just because he was unemployed and for me, that is inexcusable. Ladies, it is your responsibility to protect your man's ego. You should never allow anyone talk down on your man cos a man's ego is like his life. Once trampled, they become faceless.

The fact is, Melinda's gullibility grew up with her and her marriage and after 18 years of working several jobs to support her husband, she allowed her sisters to influence her decision into divorcing him. I understand the fact that she was at her her wit's end, she was spent and exhausted emotionally, mentally and physically. She had lost her youthful years in giving her all to the one man she loved, to saving her marriage and it didn't help the fact that he wasn't sexually attracted to her anymore despite all of her sacrifices for him. But my pain is, Melinda knew that Robert would never cheat on her again but she used her Sister's accusation that  Robert was cheating on her with Diana as an excuse to kick him out of her house, her life. The question is, why did she wait that long to finally take a stand? Why did she stop believing in Robert?

But I still commend her character. Call her crazy, deranged, impatient, vindictive, evil and all what not, I feel her actions to some extent are justified. (Kill me but I won't change my thoughts). Any woman who's gone through what she went through could do worse. Some people would consider suicide and let's not forget that she lost her womb in her self inflicted accident just two days after she bought him a new car worth over $300,000 as a young girl that she was and he was stupid enough to go cheat on her. So I totally understand why she lost her mind in the end.

Melinda lost everything via the influence of her sisters and her temper. It was tougher for her to deal with because, she lost out to the same woman that indirectly caused her to lose her womb in her self inflicted accident! And I know the question that would have been ringing in her head was, "Why her? Why did Robert have to marry Diana of all the women in America?"

Melinda had her faults but for me, she was strong. Not all women can hang in there. FRANKLY SPEAKING, Melinda was tough in character but weak at heart.

I'll stop here and continue in my next post.
Feel free to COMMENT and SHARE.

SOPHIA'S 1,000 VOICES

The cold tiles of the room sent shock waves up her bum to her spine and then her brain but her mind was just too numb to feel anything. Her mind was crowded causing a standstill traffic for her nerves to feel anything; her head was a symphony of a thousand voices, all of them talking at the same time. She could hear all but she couldn't listen to what each was saying.

She wanted a life for herself, a not so luxurious life but just a life that she could define as one befitting of a young single woman. She wanted a life that didn't require her to sell her sanity in exchange for comfort. A life that didn't demand of her to trade her self esteem. A life that didn't cajole her into the den of lecherous ogling eyes and tongues.

Sophia stood up and walked to her mirror. She loved her mirror. She loved it because, whenever she looked into it, she saw her mind. It wasn't just a mirror; it wasn't mystical either. It was indeed a mirror to her soul. She loved it because it knew how to comfort her with the fact that she wasn't ordinary. Without words, it told her that she was unique, different and weird.

Standing there, she thought about her major problem; regaining sanity.

She thought out loud to herself, "Sanity is priceless, sanity is expensive, sanity comes at a price and sanity could be lost if not secured" In her case, she was at the verge of losing hers and she was fighting so hard to protect what remained of it. "How exhausting" she sighed.


She dragged out her shisha pot from the side of her bed. She added her usual mixture, lit it up and took a long drag from it before puffing out the aromatic substance. With eyes half closed, her senses reeling with gratitude for finding release, she sank to the floor again; her pipe in her hand. She took another drag, exhaled, another drag, exhaled and another and another again until the only thing she could see was the fog that had clouded the room. Then she started smiling. It wasn't a smile of contentment; it was a smile that came in place of the tears that had maliciously stayed stuck to her tear glands, teasing her eyes but refusing to let go with dignity.

Sophia looked at the pipe which had turned her companion overtime and said to it;

"For every human is a being with a thousand voices saying, telling, yelling, soothing, warning, cajoling, advising, scolding, sweet talking but rarely listening because we do the listening. We were created to be the listeners"

The pipe slipped from her grip and slowly, she crawled into her bed  and held on tight to her pillow like the sanity she's fighting to secure.

MEMOIRS OF PISCES (Episode 11)

ANNIE

Annie still couldn't believe that she had finally gotten a job in Lagos. The once monstrous city had suddenly decided to be nice to her. Her parents were ecstatic when she called to inform them. Terry was indifferent and had gone on a motivational lecture on why she should continue stripping. He had made her see the difficulties she would continually face in terms of distance between her office and her home. She understood that problem quite alright and for the past three weeks, she has been struggling with waking up by 5 am, leaving the house by 6 am and resuming work by 8 am. Her Boss; Mr. Daren had told her that some days, she would be required to resume by 7:30 am and that had made her panic because they shared the same office space on the top floor of the building. The office was designed in such a way that Mr. Daren was in another inner office while she was positioned outside the main area. Neka's office was just the next door leaving both of them as the only occupants of that space unlike the other departments of the company that shared open spaces on each floor of the two storey building. This meant that she had to be on seat before he resumed work.

But she wasn't really worried, her salary was a consolation. Although, she always got home late, she was okay with the terms of the company which required her to undergo a three months probation first before she would be made a full staff. Her salary for the first three months would be eighty thousand Naira monthly then, if she was fully absorbed into the system, it would be increased to the actual amount she was due. She would also be entitled to other fringe benefits which the HR would disclose after the end of the three months probation. She loved their offer and was determined to work hard to become a full staff.

So, out of excitement, she had told her neighbor, Mama David. The mother of five had created an uproar in the compound as she ran out of Annie's room where she had gone to borrow matches and started shouting with joy to anyone who cared to listen that Annie had finally gotten a job as "second in command" on the "Island". The whole "compound" had been instantly filled with shouts of joy and songs of thanks as neighbors either left their soups on their kerosene stove or stuck their heads out of their one room apartments to join in the celebration.  Bros Zik had bought small stout for all the women and Star beer for the men. For them, it was a thing of achievement for an Ajegunle person to get a job with one of those "high flying" companies on the Island.

Annie had been embarrassed with joy. She had thought to herself, "look at these people, they don't even know me that well, yet, my joy is their joy". She had been overwhelmed with love and despite the fact that she nursed a deep resentment for her environment, she was thankful for the not so perfect people she had as neighbors.

..........................


Every morning posed to be the most mischievous. You never knew what awaited you on the highway. The wahala from all the mean yellow colored "danfo" buses always left you exhausted by the time you got to the office. The conductors were ruthless with their words and their curses when they found out that you didn't have "change" that early morning, could mar your entire day. So Annie made it a point of duty to always buy something from her neighbors who traded corn and fruits in front of the compound so that she could have change for the early morning rush.

On this particular Friday morning, she left her home by 5:45 am and was lucky to get to the office by exactly 7:30 am. She was happy she had taken that risk to have left home earlier than 6 am as usual. So as she got into the spacious office, the first thing on her mind was to sleep.

..............................

She tried opening her eyes but the sleep was just too sweet to let go. Then as she grew into consciousness, she felt another presence. Gradually, her senses awoke to reality and she perceived the familiar scent of  Hugo Boss which she had come to appreciate since the past three weeks but then, she knew she wasn't dreaming. Mr. Daren was around. She quickly opened her eyes and sat up to adjust the strands of her carefully wrapped natural hair but she saw him standing and watching her. She was shocked and ashamed and confused. She quickly glanced at the wall clock and realized that it was only 8 am on the dot. She noticed that he was still standing there so she greeted him as calmly as she could.

"Good morning Sir. I'm sorry I slept off"

He had a slight frown on his fore head as he studied her but he replied;

"Good morning Annie. Long night again?"
"Not really Sir. I got home late as usual" she answered then she quickly added, "but it's fine. I'm not complaining"

He nodded and turned to go into his office then as if remembering something, paused and called over his shoulder, "please come in for a sec"

...................................

Annie sat in front of her Boss and as usual, he took his time attending to some urgent emails before turning his attention to her.

"What time do you get home?" he asked
"9 pm Sir"
"Certainly that's really late?" he said with a raised eyebrow
"Honestly Sir, I'm fine. I just had to sleep today cos I got here by 7:30"
"Alright then. Let me know if you need anything" he said and together, they went through his itinerary for the day.

................................

Annie was worried. This was the third time Mr. Daren had caught her sleeping in the morning. The first time had been the very first day she had resumed work. She had left the house by 5:30 am , gotten to work by 6: 30 am and had slept till 8 am only because he had woken her up himself. Ever since, she had resolved to find a balance in time management. Now, he had caught her again. So during lunch, she had called Terry for a brief chat cos there was always a rush hour on Fridays. He had agreed and had promised to pick her up after work.

She was surprised at his eagerness to see her and suspected that there was something fishy about his eagerness but then, she ignored the nudge. Terry's always been extra, she mused to herself.

MEMOIRS OF PISCES (Episode 10)

DAREN

Daren got to the office by 10 am all the while regretting his decision of not accepting the official driver his Mom had assigned to him. He had had little sleep at night going through the resumes' and it hadn't been an easy feat because, his body had been weak but his mind kept urging him on. So when he entered the lobby he wasn't really surprised when he saw the applicants already seated in the second conference room with papers in their hands. His secretary saw him and rushed over to get his laptop bag. When he got  to his office he asked her,

"Neka, what's with the papers?" he asked referring to the papers he had seen with the applicants

Neka who's always business like and rarely smiles answered in her usual strict manner, "Sir, that's just a brief personality test Mrs. Danjuma instructed we administer to them"

Daren rolled his eyes before asking, "But I thought this was part of the previous process?"

Neka shifted uncomfortably. She always found herself caught in between this mother and son's decision making process and it wasn't always pleasant. She cleared her throat before responding.

"Well Sir, I had three personality tests before I was employed here. It's just part of the security measures we take here to ensure our staff is sane enough for the job"

Daren accepted that and then instructed her to send in the applicants one after the other for the interview when they were through with the test.

.................................

Daren drilled the applicants with questions. He wanted to ensure that whoever would end up being his personal assistant will not only be loyal to the company but most importantly will become his business confidante. He wanted someone that would answer to him instead of his Mom. He wanted someone that could put in extra hours and wouldn't mind travelling with him whenever he wanted. Preferably, he wanted a male personal assistant. Women were too complicated and emotional and having to deal with their universal drama as well as their hormonal shifts was the last thing on his mind so he found himself hoping he could get a male PA after this whole stress.

..............................

There were fifteen young men and four ladies. Eight of those men were married with kids and over thirty five while the rest were single and in their twenties and thirties. The ladies on the other hand were single. Thus the interview was intense and at some point, he wished that he could employ all of them but he only had to choose one. Then he noticed that one was missing. A female. He picked up her resume and scanned through it again. Then he did something out of the norm; he picked up his phone and dialed the number on the resume. It rang three times before she picked.

"Hello?" Daren said in his most professional voice
"Hello! Hello! Good morning! Please kindly call back. I can't talk right now. I'm on a bike" she was breathless
Daren was taken aback but he went ahead to say, " Well Miss Annie, you need to get here as soon as you can. I won't wait forever to interview you. Where are you at the moment?"
"Jesus! I'm sorry Sir. I had no idea. I'm approaching the Lekki Toll Gate now, I'll be there in 10 minutes. I'm so sorry Sir." she sounded far away
"Ok" Daren said and then hung up.

He was amused and furious at the same time because he couldn't understand why someone who's looking for a job could utterly lack seriousness. Why would she be on a bike by 11 am for an interview that was scheduled for 9 am? Out of curiosity, he picked up her resume again and checked her address to see where she lived. It was pointless because, even if he was able to use Google map to find her address, he had no idea where it was. So he decided to wait. For him, she had failed her own personality test.

.............................

At exactly 12 noon, Neka called Daren to inform him that the last applicant was around. Daren who was deeply engrossed in his work simply grunted. Almost immediately, the door opened and a breathless young woman walked in. Daren without looking up from his laptop signaled her to sit. He could hear her breathing even if she tried controlling it and it sort of distracted him from the figures he was studying. He sighed and paused on his work to attend to the late comer.

He looked up and found her staring at him then she started speaking immediately,

"Good morning Sir. I'm really sorry. I got stuck in traffic and I had to use a bike. I didn't know you were the one calling. I'm so sorry" she said all at once

Daren was studying her. She had on a white long sleeved chiffon shirt, her long black hair was pulled back in a neat pony tail, her face was bare off makeup but she had on a transparent gloss that gave her stressed oval shaped face a little lift. Something about her aura appealed to his senses and he felt his initial irritation at her lateness wear off. She sounded ruffled and unsettled but she looked calm. Then he cleared his throat before speaking.

"Where do you live Annie?"
"On the mainland Sir. Ajegunle precisely" she answered
"How did you get stuck in traffic? I believe that if this interview was important to you, you would have left home earlier"
"I did leave the house early Sir but there was an accident on the third mainland bridge which caused the traffic so I had to take a bike all the way."

Daren frowned at that. He had no idea where the Mainland was. He had never been there. He didn't even know about the third Mainland Bridge. So he shrugged it off and continued his questions.

"How would you cope with the traffic when you get this job?"
"It won't be a problem Sir. I can handle it" she answered now looking nervous

Daren paused. He narrowed his eyes and asked her the ultimate question he had also asked the other applicants.

"I believe you've met my Mom; Mrs. Danjuma. She also runs this company. What would you do if she asked you to keep tabs on me and report to her daily?"

She adjusted herself nervously on her seat before answering "I believe my loyalty is to you just as your loyalty is to her Sir. My JD is centered around confidentiality and I wouldn't compromise on that. Not even for your Mom except you say so Sir. Thus, I wouldn't keep tabs on you if your Mom instructed me to"

Daren was impressed and sort of amused because she had a blank expression on her face as she spoke. Then he asked the final question.

"If I wanted you to travel with me occasionally, unannounced, would you do it even if your spouse disagreed?"

"I'm under no obligation to anyone at the moment Sir. Thus, I'm ready to go wherever my job takes me." she answered and exhaled slowly as if she had been holding her breath all along.

Daren was intrigued. The other applicants had been scared to answer the question about his Mom but this girl had guts and that was exactly what he needed. He looked her over for the last time and then he surprised himself when he said;

"When can you start?"

MEMOIRS OF PISCES (episode 9)

ANNIE

Annie felt lucky. Somehow; since she started private stripping, she had only strip danced to two other clients in the past two weeks and it was horrible. Each had stared at her lecherously and one had asked her for a blow job. She had ran out of the room. The other had asked her to get on with a fellow stripper while he watched. She had cringed and had also ran out of the room too. Kayla and Olise had been appalled; they had scolded her thoroughly about bolting from customers and she had complained about their weird preferences. But, what shocked them was that each had left envelopes with a hundred thousand Naira each which was asides the fee they had paid already for the private dance. They had paid that much with the hope that Annie would do as they wished the next time they showed up.

Annie had been more shocked because, she had known she was going to strip dance but she hadn't expected the weird requests she had gotten from those men. But she was still surprised because she couldn't believe that she had made three hundred thousand just like that. She had hurriedly paid her rent which was sixty thousand, stocked up her house with enough food stuff to last her for a month and had deposited some in her account. Thus, as she lay on her bed in her room, she recalled her first night at Silver fox.

She had been scared out of her wit's end but that stranger had made it easy for her. He hadn't tried to touch her like the others; though he had acted really strange by walking out abruptly, he had been decent enough to keeps his hands to himself. She hadn't seen his face but he was at least six foot tall, really dark in complexion and had such an aura of authority that made him walk straight. She wished she could see him again and dance for him. Maybe he'll stay for the full one hour he'll be paying for.

She was lost in her thoughts when she started hearing the annoying noise that always comes from Bros Zik's room. This time, he was the one shouting with reckless abandon.

"Oh yes! Oooooh yes! Ah! you don finish work today! Ah! Baby! Make I come?"
The girl in turn hissed her answer, "No o! Never come abeg. I want fess you come!"

Annie rolled her eyes in exasperation. She felt like screaming. Like why the hell were they arguing about cumming?! Can they just cum already?! Jeez! she thought out loud. She decided to distract herself with her laptop; thankfully, PHCN decided to bless them with light. She checked her mails first and one in particular caught her attention. She couldn't believe it. The mail was from Excel Global, the audit firm she had had an interview with two months back. She hadn't heard from them anymore until now and she was quite surprised. They were inviting her for another interview the next day. She was shaken but happy all the same because she had even forgotten about them; she had lost all hope of them ever calling her back and now they finally did. She prayed she got the job. She would stop stripping if she did, she would move out of this house, she would put her parents on a monthly stipend, she would start saving for her Masters degree, she would start saving for weekend trips to African countries nearby and she would be alright.

.........................


That night, she had a restless sleep.

MEMOIRS OF PISCES (episode 8)

DAREN

Monday had started out brutal for Daren and as he kept staring at the pile of files on his table, he concluded that he would break down if he continued receiving more stress punches. The files were much and each needed the same level of urgency as the other. He had passed them on to his secretary to attend to but she had been too preoccupied with other tasks he had assigned to her that she forgot to attend to them. He had a lot on his plate as well being that it was the season of accounts reconciliation for most of their top clients. He had to do the final vetting according to his company's policy before the final results were delivered to their clients. He checked his watch; it was almost time for lunch with his Mom so he hibernated his computer, took his car keys, his phone and his tablet before leaving. Mom was a time keeper. A minute's delay could tick her off and she would start calling his phone non stop.

..........................

As he drove, he recalled the events of two weeks back. The place, the scene, the sound, the people, the costumes, the ambiance, that girl..., that shy, unsure stripper with skin like caramel and slightly parted lips panting slowly with every move she made. The scent of her skin when she ...  The view of Marcopolo drew him out of his reverie. He drove into the spacious compound and saw Mom's car with the driver napping inside. He smiled at the sight as he walked into the Nigerian version of a Chinese restaurant. When Mom had told him about the place, he had laughed at the thought of what a Chinese restaurant would look like in Lagos but  looking at this one now, he was impressed. Though, very spacious, the Decor of gold mixed with red gave the place that Chinese feel except for the fact that there was no Chinese song playing in the background so he was still conscious of being in Lagos.

He saw Mom sitting pretty and straight like a Queen at their table. She was looking out to the water front through the full length glass windows beside their table. Daren smiled fondly. This woman; this beautiful 60 year old Hausa woman with the body of a 40 year old and the mind of a 25 year old, this strong woman was a rare gem. To people; she was cold and unfriendly but to him she was everything he could ever wish for in a mother. She was warm, strict to a fault but overly caring. Although sometimes, she put up the front of an overbearing slave master to their staff, he knew it was all an act to curtail any form of insubordination. He loved her and respected her decisions especially those she made for their family and even when she was the third out of three wives she had the reigns to her husband's businesses.

Daren laughed this time when she turned and saw him. She stretched out her hand to him and when he took it, she gave him that heart warming smile that always made her look more youthful.

........................

They ordered for long bean noodles, prawns and some side dishes to go with. As they ate, they talked about the business. Then Daren recalled he had asked for an assistant before arriving Nigeria so he reminded her.

"Don't tell me that Lagos's short of hard working youths who aren't competent enough to be my assistant Mom"
She took her time to chew before responding. "Well, you never can tell unless you test them. We actually had quite a number of interviews the month before you arrived but we weren't satisfied with the candidates"
"How many were they?" Daren asked
"About a hundred or more"
Daren sighed. Dear mother, always hard to please. He shook his head in amusement before saying;
"Okay, ask the HR manager to send me the CVs of the top twenty. I'll look through myself and call for another interview."
"Don't worry son, we'll handle it" she said in her conclusive tone before sipping some water but Daren wouldn't let it slip so he insisted.
"No Mom. I'm being swallowed by work and I need an assistant ASAP"
She sighed in defeat cos she knew her son. He could go ahead and call for the interviews without her anyways. He was just as stubborn as she was so she decided on compromise.
"Alright. We'll do it this way. We'll call the top twenty this Friday and then you'll be a part of the selection committee so that you can decide for yourself. But I must warn you, you won't be so much impressed."

Daren rolled his eyes and said; "At this point, I'll take that chance. Tomorrow it will be. John should send me the CVs at the close of work today, I'll look at them overnight, the candidates will be notified tomorrow and the interview will take place on Wednesday. By Friday I want an assistant so I can live long. That's final Mom. Now let's talk about something else"

She looked at him narrow eyed and they both burst into laughter at the same time. She threw the napkin at him before saying, "If you aren't so strong headed then I'll conclude that you aren't my son"

Daren winked at her.

MEMOIRS OF PISCES (episode 7)

ANNIE

Annie didn't really know what to do next that was why she had sat down on the lone chair in the room. She was in a Strip Club; a live one. This was the place Terry had told her that his friend managed and though, everyone looked naked, it all looked magical; like a sort of fantasy island where your erotic wishes are granted. Terry's friend; Olise had taken one look at her and had concluded that she would do well entertaining guests privately than on the pole and she had been grateful for his decision cos she was going to ask for that exactly. Olise had handed her over to Kayla who was in charge of the girls as well as their costumes. Kayla had looked at her like a foreign dish to be devoured and had said;

"Hmm, if I had that body, I'll have every man that comes into this place at my beck and call. Use it wisely. Don't get all cocky about it but always remember that your body is your weapon. Draw strength from that thought. Your patron might want you to do some extras while you dance, do it without hesitation. Maintain eye contact and make him feel like in his being is your existence. Touch yourself while you dance. It'll turn him on. Lastly, serenade him with your body like your life depends on it."

Annie's throat went dry and she stuttered; "This is my first time doing this Kayla"
Kayla looked at her with her usual poker face and said in a not so assuring way, "Just think about the money you'll make and you'll be fine"

Annie smiled and nodded with gratitude after receiving her costume. She suspected that that was a perfectly rehearsed line Kayla used for all the girls especially the new ones. It sounded good but she felt it sounded too easy. For one, she had never seen herself as "sexy" and when people ogled at her body, she wondered what they saw.

So she had worn the lingerie, the comfortable heels she came with and had tied her hair in a ponytail. She hadn't worn makeup cos she needed her face to breathe out the pent up tension she was feeling but she had used her gloss and lastly, a face mask that covered just her eyes. She wouldn't want anyone to recognize her outside this place.

She had taken a deep breath, exhaled, checked herself once more in the huge wall mirror and then left the changing room to start this phase in her life.

......................

Deep, dark searching eyes welcomed her as she walked in through the door. She felt exposed like an article on display at an exhibition and as she walked she felt those eyes following her. When she sat, she didn't know what to do next and to worsen the situation, her patron in question said nothing. Instead, he had an amused but sort of daring expression on his face. What was he expecting she wondered? They were both quiet for some minutes then she heard Future's "Mask Off" and she began to move sinuously on the chair. She moved sideways; twisting her hips slowly. Then she put her hands to her neck, caressing slowly, gently moving them down to her chest and as she got closer to her breasts, she stopped and gracefully stood up. With her left hand holding the chair, she moved her right hand down her stomach, slowly deliberately allowing his eyes to linger on her hand as it trailed an invisible path on her stomach, down to the space between her legs. Then she trailed her thighs downwards and then up again, this time, putting her fingers on her lips. She threw her head backwards, revealing the smooth skin on her neck and then with her left hand, she caressed her neck down to her breasts. Then she stood up and took a few steps towards him.  When she was standing right in front of him, she raised a leg and placed it on the bed he was seated. Then just like she had seen Christiana Aguilera do in the movie "Burlesque", she bent down slowly and started rolling down her sheer tights to reveal some skin. She noticed that he had narrowed his eyes as if in concentration so she took that as a sign that she was doing great and moving to Dj Khaled's "Be with You", she stood straight and was slowly winding her waist but just as she was about sitting on his thighs, he stood up and left the room.

His sudden movement had taken her unawares and she almost fell to the ground. She looked at the shut door but couldn't move. What had she done wrong? Had she made the wrong move by attempting to sit on his thighs? This is crazy Annie thought as she sat on the sofa shaking.

..................

She had packed up her little bag and was about leaving when Olise called her and handed her an envelop with a smile on his face. He said;
"Your Patron was very generous. Well done."
Annie didn't understand what that meant so she opened the envelop and found a bunch of one thousand naira notes and on the wrap up paper, she saw "one hundred thousand naira" written on it. She was shocked. She looked at Olise and as if understanding what she wanted to ask, he said quickly before leaving to go back inside.

"About our percentage, he paid for that separately already. By the way, I'll advise you lodge into an hotel for tonight instead of going back to Ajegunle. Lagos isn't that friendly"

Annie couldn't comprehend the weird but fruitful turn of events of the night but one thing she could understand is. that man, whoever he is, is a weird one.

MEMOIRS OF PISCES (episode 6)

DAREN

The night was still young according to Femi's mental clock. Though it was already 12:00 midnight, Femi insisted that, that was the time for the fun to begin. He had given Daren a head's up that 12 midnight was when the real fun seekers of Lagos came out. From Daren's office, they had gone to Craft Gourmet for dinner, NOK for drinks and then Silver Fox for the peak of the night.

As they drove to Silver Fox, Daren tried to visualize what it would look like in his mind but he couldn't. He had been to strip clubs in England and other cities around the world he had traveled to but it had been the same experience. The pretty girls, getting naked, acting all coy and dancing seductively, smiling invitingly, and baring it all on the pole, he had seen it all. He wanted to see something different, something fresh, something unexpected and different from the norm and he hoped he could see it tonight. So as they got to the gate, he noticed that the security men recognized Femi immediately from the way they greeted him. Femi had already made reservations so even when they got in and the place was crowded, they had their special table ready.

......................

Daren fed his eyes. He was impressed and amazed that such a place existed in Lagos, Nigeria. The girls were all beautiful and well sculpted. They had on sexy lingeries and really high heels; the famous stripper's heels that looked like mobile platforms that helped them find their balance when they walked. He liked the way they came to pay their respects to Femi and him in the famous stripper way. Every stripper is supposed to formally greet every guest with a smile and a handshake that stopped at the tip of the fingers. It was a flirty greeting that expressed that desire to give you a lap dance and also keep your table company all through the evening. So when they came to Daren and Femi's table, Daren noticed that they smelled really nice and clean which was key for him. So he relaxed, sipping his drink and taking in the whole scenario.

He noticed that the dance stage for the strippers was round and almost split in two so there were two separate poles for them to dance. The strippers were graceful on the pole and their skill was almost like those of the strippers abroad but somehow, it felt so unreal. It felt like they were trying too hard to be sexy and foreign. He sighed and asked Femi,
"When will our people learn to be original?"
Femi who was obviously enjoying himself looked at Daren like he was weird before replying,
"I don't understand Man. What do you mean?"
Daren took a sip of his drink before answering.
"Well,  I wasn't expecting so much twerking. I don't know. I just feel like I'm seeing the same thing I've seen before"
Femi rolled his eyes. Since Daren returned from England, he had become very difficult to please. He was always looking for the "original" in everything. So, he simply patted Daren on the back and said,
"Just enjoy the moment man! Just loosen up and enjoy the moment! Trust me, you won't be disappointed anymore than you are now.

Daren shrugged slightly and hoped to enjoy the evening. He wasn't feeling the whole display of nakedness. They're good no doubt but, he just wasn't feeling the part where they opened their veevee completely for everyone to see what's in there. It's supposed to be a "strip" club not a "hurry to show off your veevee club". He felt like the girls were too in a hurry to show what was down there instead of taking their time to tease the customers, make them want more before going for the kill. His craving was wearing out and he wasn't in the mood anymore so he switched his attention to his phone, with the loud erotic music teasing his mind and his senses.

..................

Daren was fiddling with his phone at about 1:30am. He had fed his eyes with everything around him and it was still a case of the same ol' same ol'. Though the music was great, he enjoyed the music more than the lap dances so he rejected any that was offered. Femi had even tried bringing the prettiest girl to him for a lap dance but he had declined then Femi excused himself and when he returned, he asked Daren to follow him to another section of the club.

There was a private room upstairs and Femi had paid for one and had asked the manager of the place to make Daren "Happy". Daren had found it funny but he relaxed in the room anyways; happy to be away from all that unrealness to waiting for whatever surprise they had in store for him.

He waited ten minutes in the dimly lit room in sky blue, the ambiance was just right and there was slow music playing in the background. There was a single white vanity chair in the middle of the room and as he waited for whatever it was that would make him happy, he heard the door open slowly. Someone walked in. A girl. She had on just a simple black outfit; a black lacy lingerie with net sheer tights. She didn't wear the regular stripper heels but she wore a face mask that concealed just her eyes but Daren could see her lips. They were small without lipstick but just gloss. Her hair was packed up in a ponytail and she had on black lacy gloves. She wasn't light skinned; she was chocolate and lithe as a gazelle. When she walked, she wasn't in a hurry, she walked slowly, almost afraid for her tiny feet to touch the plush rug on the floor and then gently, she sat on the lone chair in the middle of the room. Daren was intrigued and so he waited to see what would happen next.

MEMOIRS OF PISCES (episode 5)

ANNIE

When they got to the venue of the place, Annie couldn't help but observe that she had passed this particular place in Victoria Island several times during the day when she job hunts but had never really given thought to what the place was. She noticed that while the "bouncers" searched the bags of the other girls at the gate, her bag wasn't searched. Terry tipped the guys and they both went into the compound. It was nice. It had a pool side on the far right with little groups of people sitting, drinking, smoking and chatting excitedly. She noticed that in the little groups, there were girls her age or younger who were scantily clad in two piece outfits or simple body con gowns, their makeup was too much and sort of overly exaggerated for a simple sit out. The men on the other hand looked more composed, mature and smelt of wealth. Of course, the smell of their perfumes spoke volumes. She watched Terry moving from group to group, exchanging pleasantries, taking a drag of smoke from shisha pots and laughing out loud at a joke or two. Then he returned to her side and led her to a flight of stairs she hadn't noticed before.

It was concealed by some pot plants that were neatly lined up and the beautiful leaves which spread out like palm fronds had concealed the fact that the stairs actually led to the main entrance of the bar. The sight that greeted Annie when they finally reached the top of the stairs was intriguing. Unlike downstairs where there was a mixed crowd of men and girls, up here was a different sight to behold. The setting looked like a coven for females only. The population of girls against that of the men there was ninety against ten. Annie was rooted to the spot she had to draw Terry back.

"Terry, what is this place?" she asked trying to be audible above the loud music
Terry smiled and answered without looking at her, ''A bar obviously"

Annie wasn't convinced but she followed him anyways and as they walked to the end of the large room, she couldn't help but notice that most of the girls had on cheap perfume and some had none at all which caused the place to have a mixed smell of cigarette, alcohol, cheap perfumes and body odor. Just like the others downstairs, they were scantily dressed with too  much makeup and they were dancing with so much effort to the overly loud Nigerian mix tape playing. And because there wasn't enough men to go round, the few men that were present,; mostly Indians, Lebanese and few Nigerians had this confused crease on their foreheads as they struggled to decide on who to focus on amongst the five or more girls gathered around their table, sharing their drinks and competing for attention with seductive dance moves. Annie could swear she felt piercing stares on her back as she walked with Terry to the end of the room and it made her wonder if these girls saw her as a competition or a bad omen.

..................

The room Terry took her looked like the VVIP section of the place. There were a few people there unlike the other side but Annie still wasn't comfortable. Terry noticed and suggested that they move to the pool side instead which she gladly agreed to but first, she needed to use the rest room.

....................

The rest room was packed with girls; all of them at the mirror adjusting either their clothes or their makeup then one of the girls started talking about a man who wanted to take her home for fifteen thousand Naira. Immediately, the other girls exclaimed in amazement and one said,
"Babe you lucky o!"
The "lucky girl" sounded reluctant "erm, him no be my type"
The others shouted again and they all started talking at once. One said,
'' You no get sense o! You know how much dem they give us for here? 5k or 8k still, you dey complain"
The "lucky girl" whined, "But him no be my type"
"Hmmm, hungry go catch you!" one said maliciously
Another said, "Abeg, give me the man if you no want"

When Annie came out of the rest room, she looked at the girls from the side of her eyes and noticed that they looked envious. The "lucky girl" sighed and shrugged as she said,
"Ha! make I go meet am o! Before dem steal am from me" then she left

Annie quickly left the rest room too. She was ashamed of what she had just heard.

....................

As the waiter brought their drinks, Terry started the same conversation he always emphasized on whenever he saw Annie.

"So, you still haven't told me what you want to do yet Annie. How else do you want to help yourself? I've told you the money is good"
Annie wasn't convinced "Terry, I can't do what those girls are doing. They look so desperate competing for attention from men who didn't even look interested. And I feel like I'll be really exposed if I'm here"
"So you think you're better than those girls?" Terry asked with one brow raised
"I didn't say that Terry. What I mean is, I'm a private person, if I'm gonna do this, then it has to be private."

Terry dragged on his cigarette and blew out the smoke before saying,

"Okay, this is what I'll do for you. There's this other place my friend manages. It's a strip club but they have a private boot for high paying guests. I'll hook you up"
Annie was shocked "Seriously Terry, you want me to strip?!" she asked
Terry was exasperated already. What does the girl want for Christ's sake. "Yes Annie! But in a private way! You want privacy don't you?"
"Yes but, must I strip? It's the same thing as what these girls do!" she struggled to keep her voice low

Terry scratched his head and said, "Look Annie, I'm only trying to help you. This is what I do; I hook girls up. Your rent is due, you're broke and jobless, your family can't help you, you can't get a bank loan cos you're not even sure of when you'll pay back not to talk of having people to stand as guarantors and all that shit. You're twenty six, you've got the body of an eighteen year old, you're sexy as fuck even if you don't know it, you can help yourself  and this is the only way I can fix you up Annie. Take it or leave it." he finished, sipped his drink and stood up.

Annie felt reality like a sharp sting. She thought of any possibility at all of  a change but none was readily available. Terry had refused to lend her any money. According to him, he would rather teach her how to fish than give her the fish. Though, his way wasn't the only way but it was the only available way she could get a quick solution to her current situation so she stood up and  called out to Terry who had walked to the far side of the pool.

"I'm in" she said
Terry smiled and as he walked towards her, his smile broadened into a laugh and he said, "Trust me, we're gonna be rich! Lagos isn't ready for us!"
 

MEMOIRS OF PISCES (episode 4)

DAREN

This Friday made it a month since Daren has been in Nigeria and it has been a sour experience for him. First, his Mom was always hovering. She had refused to employ a live in Help to tend to the house and had instead gone into contract with a cleaning agency to do the job. Then for food, she ensured her own cook stocked his fridge with fresh food everyday. Her reasons were, she didn't trust these Lagos Helps who in most cases, became their bosses mistress. Some of them eventually became the madame of the manor and for her, that was completely unacceptable. This school of thought really upset Daren but he had to accept his Mom's judgement. After all, she had more experience in such matters and has lived in Nigeria far longer than him.

He hadn't even had time to explore Lagos as much as he wanted because, Mom kept organizing a welcome home party every weekend. The parties which were more like a networking summit always had in attendance prestigious personalities, top CEOs and representatives of world class organizations who were very excited at the prospect of working with the just returned son of one of the strongest female business mogul in Nigeria, Mrs. Danjuma.

Although, he had resumed work immediately he had settled in against the insistence of his Mom for him to take time off, he really wanted to see how the company was faring. His Dad had started the company years back and had found interest in other ventures thus leaving the company under the care of his Mom and him. Mom had done a great job overseeing all affairs which yielded remarkable growth while he on the other hand had stayed back in England, referring and investing in more businesses. Now, she wants to retire and had demanded that he returned home to take full charge of the business. He wasn't ready to relocate but he badly needed to leave England so he obliged her.

At 40, he was still single and wasn't looking forward to settling down anytime soon. He loved and valued his solitude cos it gave him enough time to be; just to be. Yes, his culture required him to have been married with kids already but he wasn't a man of the conventional. His idiosyncrasy followed no rules. He usually thought of himself as a free soul and wouldn't subject himself to a way of life that boxed his thoughts. So, he took the growth of his company more serious than growing a relationship that would lead to marriage.

For weeks, he had been looking forward to having a taste of the upbeat lifestyle of Lagos since Femi had always made it a point of duty to feed him with his night time escapades whenever he visited England and he had thought of trying out one or two things he had learnt from their conversations but now, it looked like his Mom had taken over his weekends. He had to look for another way out.

........................

Femi picked on the first ring and this made Daren smile.
"What's up Buddy!" Femi exclaimed
"Hey Flash! what you been up to?" Daren teased knowingly.  They both laughed cos they both understood that question.

Femi knew happening spots in Lagos and even though he was married with two kids, he never failed to keep his Friday dates with at least 3 bars in VI Lagos after work before going home. Thus, his friends called him "Flash".

Femi answered "I'm packing up to leave the office now. What about you?"
"Been done since 6. Just decided to stay here for a bit before going back to that depressing zone if you know what I mean" Daren said
Femi laughed "I totally understand man. I'm sorry to say but your Mom is a pain in the ass. Jeez! How do you cope?"
Daren laughed as he replied, "Hey, don't hate. She's still my jewel. Anyways, I feel like going out tonight and I'll need you to be my Chaperon. Are you game?"
"Of course! Yes Man! I can't wait to spoil you silly my friend! You know what, I'm coming to get you" he chattered excitedly
"Alright. I'm here"

Daren smiled at the thought of what was to come. He knew he was in for an interesting evening but the details of it wasn't something he coul predict. Anyways, he was ready for anything.