Don't we all love having a friend that sticks closer than the closeness of other friends or family? I bet we all do. No matter how much of a recluse you claim to be, there's always that one person you love to spend time with, confide in, travel with, hangout with, fight, pray, laugh and cry with as well as gossip with (can't omit this one). Sometimes, relationships with such persons could have developed from childhood into adulthood, from teen years into adulthood or even in adulthood. It could take that long to finally find/meet that one person that you can truly trust. Note, your Bestie is not necessarily your spouse. Your Bestie could be male or female. A guy could have a girl as a Bestie and a girl could have a guy as a Bestie. It happens all the time and most times, we have a million reasons for being friends with such persons and other times, we can't even give a specific reason because, we just love them the way they are.
Now, as a result of such closeness we've developed overtime with our Besties, there are so many expectations we have of them that are sometimes realistic and unrealistic. A lot of times, these expectations could become problems because first of, I think it's wrong to expect too much from people. So, I'm gonna explain some of the realities that we get in against the expectations that we have of our Besties.
EXPECTATIONS VS REALITIES
1. Expectation: Bestie should always be available
Reality: Your Bestie cannot always be available because, he/she has their own life going on for them. "I'll always be there for you" doesn't mean that they'll always be there. Life happens every time and sometimes, life doesn't just afford you the luxury of being where you want when you want it. The sooner you get used to it, the better.
2. Expectation: Bestie should know how I feel
Reality: Truth is, sometimes your Bestie could be one of the most insensitive and most self absorbed human alive who doesn't even care about how you feel until you've exhausted your emotional bank in feeding theirs. Sometimes, they don't even know they're like that because they either grew up receiving all the attention in their family or they grew into that character. Who knows? But the fact is, your Bestie might not always know how you feel or just don't care to know because, that's who they are. So, the sooner you understand this aspect of him/her the better for you. Sounds harsh right? That's life for you.
3. Expectation: We'll know all of each other's secret
Reality: Says who? This is where a lot of people get it wrong. As Besties, you both could have shared secrets but I assure you, there are some personal secrets that are better left unshared and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. A friend once complained to me about his Best friend. He felt the dude was really secretive. Another one complained that her bestie was the type that would listen to all of her gist but would go lips sealed about hers. Let's be frank for a minute; is your relationship with that person based on you knowing every single thing about them? Surely, something else made you choose that person as your closest pal instead of their private lives. Remember, they had a life and idiosyncrasy before they met you so why not allow them to have their secrets and decide if to share them with you or not.
4. Expectation: Bestie should Like what I like and Hate what I hate
Reality: Okay! That's a whole lot of expectations for one person to keep up with. That you are my best friend doesn't mean we've become a soul gelled together as one. Of course, we will definitely have a lot of shared interests but it can't be about everything! Even couples who claim to be soul mates still have their personal preferences. Lena (fake name) always feels like her Bestie isn't loyal because, she keeps saying "hello" to 'Stacy who she's (Lena) not on good terms with. To have such an expectation of a friend is so wrong! You can't turn your best friend into the worse version of you all because you expect them to prove their loyalty towards you. That's selfish if you ask me. The best bet is to focus on other good areas that your Bestie has proven their loyalty. Remember, they're closest to you but not as much as you are closest to yourself.
5. Expectation: We'll both hang out together all the time
Reality: Boring! When you both are always together, it gets pretty boring and you start seeing faults where there isn't in each other. Other times, your Bestie might be the sort that likes to hang out with other people which isn't wrong so get used to it and quit being possessive.
These are my thoughts. What's yours? I'll love to know your own expectations and realities too. Feel free to share them in the comments box below.
Cheers!
