BURNT (EPISODE 19)

The night Tunji bared it all out to Mila was a night she would always remember with a smile on her face. She had as well apologized for giving him a hard time and when he had asked about Bode, she had laughed really hard but assured him that Bode was just a nice person who had taken care of her mental health in London. They had made up and for Mila, the best part of the night had been the intimacy they had shared. Not through sex but, they had laid on bed, wrapped in each other's cloak of love, comfort, and silence that sealed it all. And when sleep came, it needed no preamble to settle on their lids.

......................

Resumption at work started on a good note for Mila and as usual, there were new projects to handle, new pitches to prepare for new contracts and two new interns to supervise. It was going to be a hectic start to the new year but Mila was glad about it. For her, it meant more responsibilities as well as more experience in directing people. Tunji was also deeply immersed in work. He kept on having series of meeting that required him to go on several trips to Abuja and the US but they were in touch almost everyday as he ensured he called her most nights.

He had also given Mila a spare key to his house and a key to  a Toyota car that looked too sleek to even leave his garage that was concealed beside the house. She had learnt how to drive during her service year but had never really put to practice what she had learnt. She kept the keys anyways as she wasn't ready yet to go to the house. She would go that weekend to rest as it was already the middle of February and work had been mighty intense. She would go and unwind there.

........................

It was Saturday evening and Mila was alone in the huge house because Tunji still wasn't back from his trip to the US. She had tried calling him the previous night but his line wasn't reachable so she had invited his Chef, Mark earlier in the day to come and teach her to prepare some of Tunji's favorite delicacies and it had been fun. She had urged him to stay a bit more but he had declined for Tunji did not like too much hovering around of his domestic staff. He usually paid them to come do their job and then leave him to his space. So Mila decided to watch some movies before calling it a night.

She was deeply engrossed in "Breaking Dawn", a movie she had seen several times when she heard the door open gently and someone walked in. The sound of the steps didn't sound familiar but Mila who was surprised that Tunji must have returned unexpectedly hurried to the door to see who had come into the house. She was so shocked she almost tripped when she saw the familiar white skin, long legs, blonde hair, sparkling dark eyes and nude lipstick on perfectly shaped lips that had a mischievous smile on, all held together in a plain green tank top and bum shorts. It was Lily, Tunji's ex wife.

Lily stood at the door looking around like she didn't notice Mila's presence then, as if satisfied that she was in the same old house she used to know, she walked past Mila into the living room. Mila turned around, following her with her eyes and her mind doing a million calculations about what to do or say. Lily had gone straight to the shelves on the wall and had brought out the same photo album Mila had almost looked through last year. She opened it and giggled at the first photo before raising up her head to look at Mila for the first time. Her deep dark eyes smoldered Mila making her feel small and Mila cringed at what she saw on Lily's face. She saw pure hatred.

Lily moved a step towards her and said calmly but icily;

"Hello Mila"

Mila, all short of words could only manage,

"Lily, you shouldn't be here"

Lily smiled, revealing a perfect dentition as she said "Oh! he told you my name. I want to presume he told you everything as well right?" she raised one of her perfectly arched brow in question.

Mila tried to release a shaky breath "Yes, Tunji did"

Lily moved closer to Mila and as if under her spell, Mila didn't move. Lily stood in front of her talking;

"I see. Let me guess, he told you that I'm Lesbian, that I cheated on him, that I refused to sign our divorce papers, that I moved to America even when we were newly wedded...and all that crap?" she raised her other brow dramatically in question again

Mila was sweating on her forehead now despite the coolness of the room. She was shocked that Lily knew all what Tunji had told her and she asked carefully picking her words with her eyes narrowed.

"How would you know if he said all of that?"

Lily raised her long slender fingers to Mila's face and trailed the outline of her jawline to the nape of her neck, sending shock waves of fear down Mila's spine and resting her palm there before responding.

"Let's say I know because, I am truly gay and fragile ones like you turn me on" she paused searching Mila's face for any reaction but Mila looked calm then she continued; "And, on the other hand, I'm pretty much possessive. Even if I'm not really a fan of the masculine phallus, I love to have them for keeps. Tunji is a rare breed. He loves hard just like he works hard and it used to give me the utmost pleasure to have him drool at my feet until you came along" Her hand tightened around Mila's neck and her sharp nails pierced deeply into Mila's skin. Taken unawares by this move of violence form Lily, Mila screamed in pain and struggled to be free.

Lily shouted at her,

"Why did you come into our life Mila? You spoilt everything! I had him where I wanted until you came along! Why are you here?!"

Mila ckoked on her words as she replied,

"Oh please...stop...you're hurting...me...Lily... please..."

"Really? You think this is enough hurt? Well, maybe, just maybe if Tunji had allowed me have you that night, I probably would have played nice"

She used her other hand to tear the pink cotton top Mila was wearing and as she tried using both hands to drag Mila's white pantie, Mila pushed her off and ran up the stairs to Tunji's room. She locked the door and removed the key when she heard Lily's footsteps coming after her then she started looking for her phone but she realized that she had left it on the couch in the living room. She crumpled to the floor and started crying. Lily didn't look like a psycho but she certainly was one. She heard Lily at the door laughing crazily and then she froze when she heard a key swipe against the lock and the door opened. Lily entered the room and Mila scrambled to her feet, bringing her hands together in front of her as if in supplication but Lily shook her head and said,

"The exciting thing here is your ignorance Mila. You forget I lived here too. I have the keys to every room in this house and Tunji's heart of course" she walked seductively to Mila and Mila went around the bed away from her but she followed cooing like a mother hen to her chic.

"Come on Mila, I just want to feel you. I want to have a taste of what you give to Tunji. Atleast, you owe me that much for stealing my man" she said sweetly

Mila was so irritated about the whole scenario that she shouted at Lily.

"I owe you nothing bitch! Tunji was done with you a long time ago!And I don't do women so leave me the fuck alone!"

This enraged Lily and she lunged at Mila like a wild cat in hot pursuit of a scared rat.

8 SOCIAL STRUGGLES OF BEING A SINGLE FEMALE IN LAGOS.

So, I think I was about 11 years old before I fully realized that I was FEMALE. My naivete knew no bounds and try as my family might to educate me about that fact, I was just too much of a free soul reveling in the fun of just existing without the burdens of understanding my gender. I didn't grow my hair while growing up; I was on a low cut till after secondary school. I wasn't really a tom boy but I just didn't wear much skirts, I never did makeup until my sister's wedding in 2013 after which I never did anymore until late 2014. I was in the university when I started noticing the mannerisms of most of the girls on campus. Not like I was too special or different but I noticed that I was almost acting like a guy, completely different from how the other girls would act.

For instance, the way I walked then was deemed manly cos I walked fast, I carried my weaves for at least one month before removing it unlike other girls who would hurry to have theirs changed after a week or two. I never tweezed my brows cos I just didn't care while most girls made it a point of duty to trim theirs every week. I found a guy's unnecessary flirting with me irritating and for that, I was labelled a "Lebanese" if you know what I mean. lol. I had 4 jean trousers which I wore with many tops while my roommates thought I was weird as they had so many trousers and skirts to change into at different times of the day. I was really ebony dark in complexion and I loved it that way but most of the girls then started buying goat milk for bath wash so that they could whiten up.

The list is endless.

I've adjusted a bit to the role of being female however, the struggles are real more especially because, society has always had this expectation of us to be in a certain kind of way and we have unconsciously bought into that role and even gone ahead to create more higher expectations for ourselves. And since returning to Lagos since schooling and serving elsewhere, I've observed so many more struggles. How stressful can it get? Well, before I start sounding like a radical feminist, here are 8 out of the numerous social struggles of being a single female in Lagos.

• You're expected to always smile, be nice, be cheerful, never pick offence but just smile. 

Seriously though, must it always be so? What if I just want to wear my poker face and not worry about who's looking? What if I'm not in the mood to be cheerful cos it could be quite exhausting sometimes? and what if I'm sick and tired of being nice all the time cos a lot of people have taken my niceness for stupidity and gotten away with it.  What if a guy spanks my behind in public? If I react, people'll be like, " Wooo, she's got a temper". If I don't react but just smile at the guy they go like, "she's a cheap one". Really?! 

• Slay all the time. 

Thanks to social media, we keep getting the same impression everyday that we have to slay with our make up and outfit even in the toilet, bathroom, market, gym, spa, closet, kitchen, pool, and all the awkward places in this life. What if I love my face natural and without makeup? what if I love to dress down and feel relaxed in those places without looking too serious like I'm going for a photo shoot? And my sisters on Instagram are not helping matters at all so the pressure to always kit up could burn down your sense of just being you. Jeez!

• To be light complexioned 

The expectation of most single females to be light in complexion hasn't been an easy feat to conquer as everyday, there is an increase in the population of converts from the dark skinned club to the white chicks club. Some call it, "just a little bit of toning to make me glow" and then, before you know it, the process begins from toning to looking like a burnt plantain and then the full blown whiteness. Although, there's a slang on Instagram called  "Melanin" that tries to promote dark skinned girls but the reality of it is that, when you go out to the hot spots in Lagos at any time, the percentage of light skinned girls supersedes that of dark skinned girls and most of the time, the light ones get most of the men's attention. What a life!

• Have at least 3 different human hair weaves or more handy 
  

Apparently, everyone knows it as a fact that most single females in Lagos have human hair weaves and the rich display of it all is seen at gatherings. Gone are those days when as a single female, you can comfortably and confidently rock your shuku/ Ghana weaving to a top notch event and be admired by almost everyone on how cultured you look. Now, it's the other way round. Even those who claim to be doing the natural hair thingy too find themselves wearing a human hair wig for an event. 

What if I'm tired of spending too much on other human's hair to look good, does it really reduce my wife material from a million yards to nothing? ugh!

• Live on the Island 

As a single female in Lagos, this one particularly is major. Gosh! you've got no idea. Every hustling guy or babe expects you to live at Lekki (note, there's  a HUGE difference between Lekki phase 1 and lekki. Those who know knows), VI or Oniru. Surulere can be considered if you have a car. It doesn't seem to matter if you're a tenant paying rent or  a squatter patching up with friends, just live on the Island and you'll earn some level of attention. Most girls will attest to this fact. I once visited a male friend with a female friend of mine and we met his relatives at home. Then one of them started a conversation with us in this manner;

Him: (to my friend) where do you live?

My Friend:  Lekki phase 1 

Him: (to me) do you also live here at Lekki phase 1?

Me: no. I live on the Mainland

Him: ( swiftly changes focus to my friend) so, which street is it?

And thus, the conversation continued in that light about Lekki for a while before the topic changed to a general one. I was shook. lol. I thought, " Uncle, you don't even know Mainland!". Well, I wasn't bothered as long as I have a roof over my head and my laptop to write.

• To use an Iphone 

I don't know how I notice these things but I do and I think it's because I'm a writer so I tend to observe a lot. This is so true cos I actually did an opinion poll with friends and they confirmed it. In this regard, even the Samsung Galaxy S8 doesn't stand a chance of being regarded as a high budget gadget. How sad. Some of the ladies I questioned lamented almost the same thing;

"Babe, that money for Iphone 6s or 7s would really go a long way in supporting my career but I just need to have it for packaging. Babes need to belong too now."

See what I mean?

• Know someone who knows someone.

This one happens a lot at hang outs. As a single female in Lagos, you are expected to know at least someone that knows anyone in a high position. If you don't know anyone, then what the hell are you doing being single in Lagos? I've hung out with some friends a couple of times before and usually, it amazes me when I realize that I'm probably the only person at the table who doesn't know the owner of the place or the cute sophisticated looking male or high class babe that walked in. See job of knowing! Not like it's wrong to know people but this one is serious. Sisters, you gotta know someone so that your journey to the alter will be quicker. lol

• "Asides Uber and Taxify, always have a cab man's number handy". 
  

A friend once asked me how I was getting home after work and I answered that I was taking my usual route where I would board a public bus. She looked surprised and started a lecture on the need for me to have the Uber and Taxify apps on my phone. She told me that from the office to my home, they'll simply charge me #2000. She went ahead to explain that, I should also have a cab man's number on my phone to always be available should any of those taxi companies mess up. According to her, it only cost her #150,000 on transportation for a month and more so, it maintains her standard as a high class single babe living on the Island. I thanked her for her advice and then started my calculations.

So, at that time, my salary wasn't up to #200,000. I calculated 2000 by 30 days and I came up with 60,000. Then I calculated my office feeding expenses for the month, excluding feeding at home  and it ran into 15,000 . At the end of it all, I wasn't left with much to cater for other miscellaneous expenses not to talk of saving.  I decided that for that time being, public transport was okay for me except on occasions where I have to go out to events or hang out with friends. Biko, I cannot come and die.

Sisters; truth is, it could be really tough keeping up this standard and then you might end up finding yourself in unnecessary competition with yourself, thereby neglecting your priorities (that's if they're really important to you). My way of handling these struggles; I just do me and of course maintain my dark complexion.

There're still so many other struggles but I'll leave you all to comment on them below in the comments section.  Guys!, what are your own struggles? Feel free to also share your experiences too.

Cheers!