MEMOIRS OF PISCES (episode 8)

DAREN

Monday had started out brutal for Daren and as he kept staring at the pile of files on his table, he concluded that he would break down if he continued receiving more stress punches. The files were much and each needed the same level of urgency as the other. He had passed them on to his secretary to attend to but she had been too preoccupied with other tasks he had assigned to her that she forgot to attend to them. He had a lot on his plate as well being that it was the season of accounts reconciliation for most of their top clients. He had to do the final vetting according to his company's policy before the final results were delivered to their clients. He checked his watch; it was almost time for lunch with his Mom so he hibernated his computer, took his car keys, his phone and his tablet before leaving. Mom was a time keeper. A minute's delay could tick her off and she would start calling his phone non stop.

..........................

As he drove, he recalled the events of two weeks back. The place, the scene, the sound, the people, the costumes, the ambiance, that girl..., that shy, unsure stripper with skin like caramel and slightly parted lips panting slowly with every move she made. The scent of her skin when she ...  The view of Marcopolo drew him out of his reverie. He drove into the spacious compound and saw Mom's car with the driver napping inside. He smiled at the sight as he walked into the Nigerian version of a Chinese restaurant. When Mom had told him about the place, he had laughed at the thought of what a Chinese restaurant would look like in Lagos but  looking at this one now, he was impressed. Though, very spacious, the Decor of gold mixed with red gave the place that Chinese feel except for the fact that there was no Chinese song playing in the background so he was still conscious of being in Lagos.

He saw Mom sitting pretty and straight like a Queen at their table. She was looking out to the water front through the full length glass windows beside their table. Daren smiled fondly. This woman; this beautiful 60 year old Hausa woman with the body of a 40 year old and the mind of a 25 year old, this strong woman was a rare gem. To people; she was cold and unfriendly but to him she was everything he could ever wish for in a mother. She was warm, strict to a fault but overly caring. Although sometimes, she put up the front of an overbearing slave master to their staff, he knew it was all an act to curtail any form of insubordination. He loved her and respected her decisions especially those she made for their family and even when she was the third out of three wives she had the reigns to her husband's businesses.

Daren laughed this time when she turned and saw him. She stretched out her hand to him and when he took it, she gave him that heart warming smile that always made her look more youthful.

........................

They ordered for long bean noodles, prawns and some side dishes to go with. As they ate, they talked about the business. Then Daren recalled he had asked for an assistant before arriving Nigeria so he reminded her.

"Don't tell me that Lagos's short of hard working youths who aren't competent enough to be my assistant Mom"
She took her time to chew before responding. "Well, you never can tell unless you test them. We actually had quite a number of interviews the month before you arrived but we weren't satisfied with the candidates"
"How many were they?" Daren asked
"About a hundred or more"
Daren sighed. Dear mother, always hard to please. He shook his head in amusement before saying;
"Okay, ask the HR manager to send me the CVs of the top twenty. I'll look through myself and call for another interview."
"Don't worry son, we'll handle it" she said in her conclusive tone before sipping some water but Daren wouldn't let it slip so he insisted.
"No Mom. I'm being swallowed by work and I need an assistant ASAP"
She sighed in defeat cos she knew her son. He could go ahead and call for the interviews without her anyways. He was just as stubborn as she was so she decided on compromise.
"Alright. We'll do it this way. We'll call the top twenty this Friday and then you'll be a part of the selection committee so that you can decide for yourself. But I must warn you, you won't be so much impressed."

Daren rolled his eyes and said; "At this point, I'll take that chance. Tomorrow it will be. John should send me the CVs at the close of work today, I'll look at them overnight, the candidates will be notified tomorrow and the interview will take place on Wednesday. By Friday I want an assistant so I can live long. That's final Mom. Now let's talk about something else"

She looked at him narrow eyed and they both burst into laughter at the same time. She threw the napkin at him before saying, "If you aren't so strong headed then I'll conclude that you aren't my son"

Daren winked at her.

DAY 12 (LOLA'S 12 DAYS OF XMAS) THE END

Morning

I think I'm beginning to love Christmas. I'm loving the feel of being pregnant, I'm sort of happy with the fact that Jeff is here lying beside me in a deep sleep. Somehow, I'm loving the feel of being engaged not just to some random man but to Jeff Oku. He totally fits the picture. Okay; not the successful picture now but, he is my perfect match. He knows me completely and no matter how many times I've pushed him away or been cruel to him, he still comes back loving me harder than before. I remember once I quarreled with him for no reason as usual. That day, I asked him to leave my house at about 2 am in the morning. He left and showed up the next day at my office after work hours, asked my driver to take my car home and waited until I finally agreed to go with him. He had taken me home, prepared me dinner and we had moved on like nothing happened.

Several times, I have tried to make our relationship all about sex so there won't be any strings attached but Jeff had managed to escape that. He always knew how to fill up every moment with something. I thought I would never have any need for him but now, as I look down at his face sleeping peacefully, my hand moved up to my stomach and I'm filled with overwhelming joy cos I know now that this is right. My being pregnant is the best thing to have happened to me at this point in my life and what's more special about it is the man with whom I'll be raising this big bundle of joy that God has blessed me with.

Jeff will be the best Dad ever. If he can tolerate my excesses and accept me for who I am no matter how horrible I've been to him, then he can nurture our child to be as kind, loving, caring, thoughtful and gorgeous as he is. How lucky can one get? No, I'm blessed. There's my family; Mom, Tinu, Darey, my aunts and relatives, all of whom are great people. They're extra but, they are amazing. I am so blessed.

I still haven't told Jeff of the pregnancy yet so as I watched him turn on the bed with his arm searching for me, I took it and placed it on my stomach. He slowly opened his eyes and when he saw me, he smiled. I laughed and said,

"Hey... searching for something?"
"Hmm, you of course" he replied as he kissed my hand on his
"I love you Jeff Oku" I said

I felt him stiffen in shock but he relaxed almost immediately. I understood the reason and smiled. You see, for the five years I have known Jeff, I have never used that phrase except now. He sat up and brought his face close to mine.

"Say it again... please..."
"I love you Jeff" I whispered

He sighed heavily with relief and drew me into a warm hug.

"I love you more" he said
"I know and that's scary. Why do you love me so much Jeff? I mean, you can have any woman you want yet, you choose to remain with a hard nut like me." I asked

Jeff leaned back. He looked away and the next things I heard made me weak. 

"Lola, I was once like you. I was really mean to girls. I knew I had the looks, the wealth and all so I really used it to the detriment of the ladies that wanted my affection. I had fun doing it. Then I met you, I was stoned the moment I saw you and was bent on having you at all cost. But I never knew I was in for a bumpy ride. All of your meanness only made me love you more. You weren't like the other ones; you were strong with a mind of your own, you were successful, never needy, and you took what you wanted when you wanted it.

All you did to me was exactly what I was doing to those other women in my life. At some point, I realized I couldn't let you go, no matter what cos no matter how bad we fight, I still saw in you the woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. It was like you had bewitched me to punish me for my crimes and I was ready to take it all so long as you were mine. So you see, I've got a story too"

I felt guilty all at once "Jeff, I'm so sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I had trust issues and I wasn't ready to let anyone in so I built my defenses high enough to ward off any ounce of affection. I'm so sorry. One day, you'll know my story too"

He took my face in his and said seriously, "Listen Lolly, everyone has a story to tell and I don't care how bad yours is, all I care about is you. The you I see now is enough for me. I don't need any more conviction"

With that, I knew I had to tell him about the pregnancy. I took his hand again and placed it on my stomach without leaving his eyes. I circled the little bump down there with his hand continuously while he looked at me with a confused expression. Then realization dawned on him and he laughed.

"This is unbelievable!"
I laughed too as I nodded in affirmation "It is so real Jeff! I'm almost three months gone"
"And I've been wondering what's come over you ! I should impregnate you every two years so you'll be this mushy all the time"

That cracked me up and I hit his head playfully,

"You're so silly Jeff"
"I know!" he exclaimed still surprised. "Thank you Lola. You've made my wish come true. I promise you, we'll be so happy" he said and lay his face on my stomach as if in supplication then he asked,

"Can I touch you though? I've never made love to a pregnant woman before. I'll love to try now"

I giggled and pulled off my nightie. I had nothing underneath and that made things easier but slow, sweet and passionate.

....................

Evening

We were back from church and the moment we all got out of our cars, Mom made the big announcements to my aunts and the shouts of joy was so loud that it got the attention of nearby neighbors including Mama Ireti. Yes about her, she has been MIA. Her children came to visit so she had been fully booked with no time for her regular dose of gossip but tonight, we all gathered outside the compound for the fireworks that the estate usually organized. As the fire crackers went up the skies letting out powerful explosions, we all screamed "Happy New Year". We hugged and kissed and congratulated each other for seeing a new year alive, well and together in love.

......................

It hasn't been a terrible 12 days has it? Though, it had started on the wrong foot but it has ended in blessings, more love and peace most importantly. I'm definitely looking forward to another 12 days of Xmas with my family; both old and new of course. Till then, Happy New Year to you as well.

DAY 11 (LOLA'S 12 DAYS OF XMAS)

Noon

It's day eleven in Mom's house and I'm still sane. After the news of my pregnancy, I thought I would lose my mind but strangely, I haven't. I've accepted my fate; I've decided to give it a try and see how well or bad I'll fare in this phase of my life. I'm thirty five, unmarried, beautiful, successful, wealthy, with a new qualification added to my achievements, "soon to be Mom". Sounds weird but I'm curious to see how it goes.

Mom had come to stay with me the whole of this morning. She had taken her time to talk to me about
the three stages of pregnancy, and had explained to me what to expect every month. She had even suggested that Darey be my private doctor so that he would be at my beck and call but I had immediately refused. I didn't want that much intrusion from my family any more than they already have. I want to go through this process alone and savor every moment of it. This is a new world I'm stepping into and if I have to do it, I would need all the privacy I can get to focus and carry it well. 

Mom had finally opened the door and had told Tinu to take me on a drive for fresh air. She had banned me from driving myself henceforth thankfully. At least, we agree on that level. I hate driving myself. So finally, I've earned my freedom. Tinu had driven me around the estate and then taken me to Shoprite just around the corner to see a movie. On our way, we shared small talk that gradually flowed into sensitive grounds.

"Tinu, how are you and Darey now?" I asked genuinely concerned
"We're good as usual. No problem at all" she answered brightly
I looked at her closely to be sure she wasn't hiding anything before asking "Are you sure?"
"Yes! Don't worry, we never carry any grudge to the next day Sister Lola" she replied still smiling

I sighed and looked ahead shifting my mind to my own thoughts. Then Tinu said,

"I think you'll be a great Mom to it Sister Lola"

That took me unawares and my eyes moistened as I shook my head at her,

"Naa, I don't know about that. I'm a really selfish person. I've never liked kids and now, I'm about to have one. I don't even know how I'll be able to share my time with it"
She laughed and said happily, "I'm glad you just admitted that you're a selfish person. You really are a pain in the ass you know."

I laughed as well as I thought about what she said. Somehow, she was right but I just can't help myself.

.........................

Evening

It was about 7:30 pm and everyone was in the living room watching TV. It was sort of a significant moment for us all as that will be the last day we'll have such an opportunity to be that close as a family again. Tomorrow is the 31st ; cross over night that meant that we all would go to church and pray our way into the New Year. No one dared miss that service because of Mom of course. Also, after the service, I would have to go back to my house and continue with my life which will be in a different way now.

So we all were enjoying a movie on African Magic when a car started honking it's horn outside the gate. Mom asked Bayo to go and check cos she wasn't expecting anyone. My aunts and relatives would arrive tomorrow for the cooking and New Year celebration. Bayo went out and after about fifteen minutes, he returned. Then he announced,

"Mami, there's a man outside that wants to come and see you"

Mom turned around and looked at Bayo, the others did same but I wasn't interested in whatever the stranger had to do with Mom. He's probably one of the neighbors coming to thank Mom for the food we shared some days back. Mom stood up and went to meet the man outside then after a while she came in with the man. She was giving instructions to Bayo to take in a brief case and from the sound of her voice, it was obvious she was really excited. Curiosity made me turn to look at her cos I just didn't understand what her neighbour had said to make her so happy.

"Lola, Jeff Oku is here to see you"

I was stone shocked when I saw Jeff standing there, tall, handsome and dark in all of his glory. He was wearing his business suit and was smiling at me. I quickly looked around at Tinu, Darey and the kids faces; they all looked shocked as well. I don't know if it was about his looks or the fact that they couldn't believe that I have a man in my life. I carefully stood up, walked to Jeff and dragged him to my room. I could hear everyone groan in a, "here she goes again" way but I didn't care. I closed the door when we were inside and faced him angrily.

"What the hell are you doing here?!"
"Sweety Pea, I'm glad I finally found your Mom's place. It wasn't easy though."He said pulling me into a bear hug

I immediately pulled back and shouted "Don't touch me, you'll hurt it!" and unconsciously, my hand went up to stomach protectively

Jeff looked confused as he asked "What's 'it'?" he asked

I almost bit my tongue in realization that I had spilled the bean too soon then I quickly removed my hands from my stomach. Jeff was too smart for my liking cos he was quick to smell a rat. I stuttered for the first time ever since I had know Jeff.

"The...the... question is why are you here? I...I... didn't ask you to come so why are you here?"

He was looking at me strangely, not answering my questions but I continued as I remembered the stupid box of chocolates. I went to my wardrobe and brought it out.

"Here, have your stupid box of chocolates"  I shoved it at him

He took it, opened it and went on his knees. My heart skipped and I was rooted to the spot in shock. I have been with an engagement ring in my closet for days without knowing it!

"Lolly, I actually sent you the chocolates on purpose. I knew you wouldn't open the box so I sent it anyways cos I wanted to do this in person. I know you don't love me enough to want to give up your freedom for a life with me but I love you just the way you are. You are annoying, over bearing, selfish, and a pain in my neck but beyond all of that, I see a beautiful soul who's got a heart of gold. And Lola, no matter how hard you try to make yourself look insensitive and difficult, I want you more."

I had to stop him before he said anymore, "Trust me Jeff, you don't want a life with me. I'm a hand full. You of all people should know that!"
"And that is what I want Lola. I feel incomplete whenever your drama doesn't come in it's regular dose. All I want to do is love you the way I always have. I need you to complete me. Please, say yes...just say yes and let me handle the rest. Please..."

I stood quiet, refusing to say anything. Just then, the door burst open and Mom stormed in shouting and removing her head scarf to tie around her waist. She looked funny as she stared shouting,

"Lola, you better say yes o! You better say yes! This year must not pass you by. Oya, se kia!"

I was laughing so hard already and then I said yes. Jeff sagged to his knees with relief and Mom ran out the room screaming.

"Lola is married o! Lola is married!"

I heard them in the living room screaming for joy as well. Oh Mom! The apple definitely doesn't fall far from the tree.

DAY 10 (LOLA'S 12 DAYS OF XMAS)

Morning

I wake up this morning to meet my breakfast of boiled Irish potatoes and tomato sauce on my dressing table but when I tried opening my door, it was still locked. I went into the bathroom brushed my teeth, did my facials and had my morning bath. Somehow, I was beginning to feel heavy. Maybe it's the knowledge of being pregnant, I don't know. But I found myself being extra careful with the way I walk, the way I washed my stomach area during my bath, the way I sat on the chair at my dressing table to apply my moisturizers and the way I adjusted myself on the little couch in my room. Was I beginning to be over protective of this fragile thing inside of me? Was I beginning to accept it?

I had woken up in the middle of the night, stood in front of my mirror and kept staring at my stomach. So many thoughts ran through my head at that point, a lot of bad thoughts actually. I even thought of drinking my Gucci perfume but then, I realized that I could die in the process. I also thought of deliberately falling in the bathroom, face down so that I could hit my stomach on the floor but I also realized that I would definitely suffer a head concussion and some terrible bruises. But I thought, "No, It wasn't worth it". In trying to kill a thing I did not want, I would end up hurting myself terribly and I couldn't bear such pain. I had knelt in front of the mirror and asked it questions like; why did you come to me? why did you choose now to afflict me with this manner of dilema? But I got no answers. Instead, I felt warmth flowing from my inside.

I know Mom's intention. She's trying to make me bond with it the same way she would lock Tinu and I outside the house whenever we quarreled so that we would resolve our dispute and bond anew. I could swear her plan was working cos I was feeling this warmth I had never felt before and it was like a strong connection, almost electrifying. I was still in shock about the whole thing and I was done beating myself for the mistake. It's happened and there's no turning back. If I even dared remain adamant about getting rid of it, Mom would keep me locked up here for as long as it would take to make me change my mind. Am I ready to keep it? Am I ready to be a Mom? Am I ready to give up myself for some tiny fraction of myself that would depend on me for the most part of it's life? Am I ready to share my time? Am I ready to be called 'Mom'? I don't know.

I felt mentally drained as I ate my breakfast.

....................

Noon.

I was having a nap when Mom walked into the room. She shook me awake and when I open my eyes, she had brought me Lunch of Yam porridge cooked with vegetables. She laid it on the bed and poured me some water to drink first before eating. I did as she had said cos I woke up famished. I had thrown up earlier after breakfast and was feeling light from hunger. Mom sat on the couch in my room, watching me eat.

"Lola, are you angry with me?" she asked
I paused on the food to look at her before answering "No Mami"
"You know I want the best for you right?"
I nodded still eating but she continued
"If you had noticed, I didn't ask you about the father because I don't want you to worry about that first. I had to lock you in here because, I wanted you to think about your decision. I did it out of the love of a mother. Do you understand?" she said
"I understand Mami. It's just that, I'm sacred. I don't know how to do this. I only know how to take care of myself; I don't know how to take care of someone else." I answered with watery eyes.

Mom left her seat and came to join me on the bed.

"Lola, What makes you think you can't take care of it? Look at me, you've been looking after me since your father died. To me, you are my mother. And why am I still alive if I can't help you take care of the baby when it's born? Ife mi, you're not alone in this!" she said vehemently
I shook my head and said, "Oh Mom! I don't want to be a single Mom. It won't be fair on it to grow up without a father."

Mom took my hand in hers while thinking about what she wanted to say before talking,

"Tell me then, who's the father?"
I hesitated first but I replied after a bit,  "Jeff. His name is Jeff Oku. He's a lawyer"
Mom's face lit up with the brightest smile ever as she spoke excitedly, "Oluwa e seun o! Does he know yet?"
I shook my head
"Please tell him today. He must know!"
"Mom! I can't. I've been a very terrible person to him. Always have been. If I tell him, he would think I'm trying to tie him down with responsibilities. It would kill my ego if he begins to think so about me" I whined
"Look at you, you sound just like a man Lola. Listen, call him and tell him. He has a right to know that he has a child somewhere. Do it today!" she urged me
"Okay Mami. I'll tell him in person when I go back home. Please..." I pleaded
She shrugged but agreed then she got up and packed up the dirty plates to the kitchen. I was left alone again pondering on how I was going to tell Jeff.

......................

Evening

My life is a movie. The things that have happened are things I wouldn't have believed would happen. My stay in Lebanon had turned me into a pawn in the hands of men. On one occasion, I had taken in and immediately removed it. It had been easier for me to move on cos I had a target but I hated my lifestyle and I wasn't ready to keep relics of that life. My new life now is something I have carved out for myself. I play my own tunes and I dance to them the way I want without putting my back down for favors. I'm not bothered if Jeff accepts or refuses responsibility for the baby, I've made up my mind. I know now what must be done.

I get up from my bed to go out but the door is still locked.

Oh Mom!

DAY 9 (LOLA'S 12 DAYS OF XMAS)

Morning

I had another bout of throwing up again from 8 am this morning. This time, I locked myself in my bathroom so that Mom won't catch me unawares. She would immediately sniff the truth if she caught me throwing up again another day. Afterwards, I brushed my teeth thoroughly to kill the bile taste in my mouth. I do my usual skin ritual and had a warm bath. I went to the in built mirror on the wall beside my wardrobe to do a thorough check up of my body. I locked the door to my room first so no one would barge in on me.

My stomach was still flat but I noticed a slight bump like I had overfed my self or was I seeing double? I turned to my side to see if really I was growing a bump; it was there like it wasn't there at all. I placed my hands on my breasts, feeling their weight. They were slightly heavy, not bigger than normal but just slightly heavy. My nipples were bigger and tender. All of a sudden, the consciousness that I was carrying another life inside of me overwhelmed me and I started trembling. I had a tornado of emotions running through me; I was angry, scared, sad and confused.  I knew then that I had messed up real bad.

How I did I allow this happen? I had been so confident and sure that my pills were working. I had taken an injection to stop my monthly flow for a while and it was when the six months duration had expired that I consulted my doctor to put me on the pills. Is it possible that just missing the pill for once could cause this misfortune to happen to me?

"There's only one way to this Lola. Get rid of it" I said to myself and started dressing up to go out. If I'm going to do this, I have to do this today.

........................

I had just packed a bag with an extra cloth, undies, and my laptop. I unlocked the door and stepped out of the room but then, I forgot my car keys so I went back inside to get them. Just when I had picked them up, Tinu walked into my room teary eyed. She had probably cried herself to sleep as well. I was surprised when I saw her cos I hadn't heard her open the door.

"Why didn't you mention any of it to me Sister Lola?" she said tearfully
"Mention what?" I asked irritated. I was in a foul mood already. My predicament was giving me enough headache and Tinu wants to come and add hers.
She sniffed and said "That you dated Darey back in the University"
I answered impatiently "Well, as you said 'back in the University', that's in the past"
"You think so? Oh my God! I can't believe I've been married to someone who sees you when he looks at me." she sniffed again
"What do you mean Tinu? Look I don't have time for this. I've got an appointment somewhere." I started walking towards the door but she stopped me midway.
"No sister Lola. You don't get to leave. Look at you, your life is so perfect. You have it all, you're beautiful and sexy, you don't lack anything, you can have any man you want so why won't Darey marry me? To be closer to you since he couldn't have you even if you dumped him. So, I'm like the substitute that he gets to settle for!"

I was surprised and disappointed that she would interpret things that way so I lashed out at her.

"Shut the hell up Tinu! Shut your mouth before I shut it up for you! Jeez! you are so selfish! You always want everything to be about you. You think I dumped him because I wanted to? I had to hustle so that we could have a life. Dad was broke remember? And he kept on falling sick until he died. Mom couldn't afford to give you an education so I had sex my way to Lebanon, sex my way to survive while there  and also sex my way to pay for my Masters so that you too could have an education. I was tired of the lack we suffered Tinu.

I didn't inform Darey that I was leaving cos he won't understand and when I returned, he had married you. What was I to do then huh?! Yank him away from you?" I was shedding tears now. Tinu looked shocked but I didn't stop, I continued. I just needed to purge myself off this anger burning in my chest.

"You've got no idea how hard it was to pleasure those greedy men so they could release their money." I paused and looked at her then added, "Darey loves you Tinu. I'm a cold bitch and he knows it. I don't love him, I don't even think I can love any man anymore. Not even a baby. Everything I have now, is as a result of the tough decisions I had to make and I don't regret any of it."

I leaned against the door to catch my breath. I felt fatigue all of a sudden. Our voices had been loud as we shouted as each other but I didn't care. Tinu took slow steps towards me and said carefully,

"I'm so sorry Sister Lola. I didn't know you went through all of that for us but you've got to keep that baby inside you and love it cos it will bring you happiness"
"It's none of your business Tinu. Stay out of this" I replied

At that point, Mom barged into the room with a dumbfounded expression on her face. She had probably heard the noise coming from my room and had come to check. I am done for.

"Which baby?" she asked

None of us spoke and she shouted,

"Which baby?!

Tinu quickly answered, "Lola is pregnant"
Mom jumped as she shouted again "Jesu! E seun o! (Jesus, thank you!)"

She put her hand on my breasts and after some seconds, she removed it and said smiling,

"it's still young but it's growing. Oh Ife mi! God bless you! You've made me so happy?"
"I'm not keeping it Mom. I'm getting rid of it" I said looking her straight in the eye.

Before I knew it, I felt a heavy slap on my face. It was so unexpected that I staggered and started crying. Mom started shouting furiously.

"Abi o nya were ni?!(Are you mad?) Do you think you are still a child? Do you know how many women are out there looking for children?! Lola if you do anything to that child I will disown you! Oponu!"

I heard the voices of Darey and Tinu pleading with Mom to calm down but she kept ranting. Then she shocked everyone. She called Bayo to bring the food she had prepared for me for breakfast, then she told everyone to go out, she locked me inside my room and went out with the key.

I ate the food and out of exhaustion, I fell into a deep sleep.
....................

Evening

I'm under house arrest. I can't even open the door to the room except Mom unlocks it which she didn't. I saw my dinner of yam porridge with some fruit Salad on my dressing table and ate it soberly. I'm brooding on what to do but nothing comes to my head. All I feel now is fear.

DAY 8 (LOLA'S 12 DAYS OF XMAS)

Morning.

I woke up this morning feeling terribly nauseous. My night was restless cos I had been feverish. I checked for the time; it was just 7 am. I tried standing up to go to the bathroom but I felt really light headed and dizzy so I relaxed back on the bed. I turn on the Tv just for some distraction from the way I was feeling but before I knew it, I saw myself on the floor of my bathroom throwing up. By the time I was done, I was too weak to get up. I stayed there for some time and dosed off cos the spasm kept shaking me up and I kept throwing up.

.................

Noon

I open my eyes to find myself on my bed. There was a cool towel on my fore head, Mom was beside me muttering some prayers under her breath, Tinu was just ushering the kids out of my room while Darey was seated opposite my bed and watching me intently. Our eyes met and he immediately stood up with his stethoscope. Mom noticed the movements and she as well quickly turned to face me whilst thanking God audibly now.

"Oluwa ese o! Lola, bawo ni ara e nsi?  (Thank you God! Lola, how are you feeling now)?"
I tried sitting up as I replied. "o re mi Mami.  (I'm tired) What happened?" I asked
"I found you collapsed on your bathroom floor after waiting for you to come out all morning. Oh! Thanks to God, you're alright" she was touching my head with the back of her hand
"All morning?!" I asked feeling too weak to express how baffled I was. I checked the wall clock, it was 2 pm.

Darey who had been standing aside and watching us talk cleared his throat "Ehem. Mami, please go and prepare pepper soup for her while I do another checkup on her. Don't worry, she'll be alright"
"Ok. Lola, mo pa da bo. (I'm coming back) Let me go and prepare the food"
I nodded then she left.

Darey inserted the stethoscope in his ears and started checking my pulse. Afterwards, he sat at the foot of the bed looking at me as if waiting for a signal to talk. I was looking at him warily as well then tired of the mind games we were playing, I broke the silence.

"Alright, what is it?"
He ignored the acidic tone I used and answered "What did you eat yesterday Lola?"
"Fried rice and shrimps. Why?"
He was quiet as he took notes on his tab.
"Do you think I had food poisoning? Cos if it's the shrimps, it was properly cooked"
He stopped and looked at me, sighed and then said, "No Lola, you didn't have food poisoning, you're pregnant. You should avoid eating shrimps again."

My jaw dropped down. It's not true, it can't be, it's impossible. I laughed hysterically. Darey was looking at me like I was crazy.

"Listen Dr. Darey Adeola, I had food poisoning, I passed out, I'm awake now and I'm alright. Thank you but you're wrong."
Darey shook his head "Lola, you're pregnant and it's nine weeks old. You should be happy."
I looked at him with so much hate before shouting "Shut up Darey! Shut up your bloody lying mouth! I am not pregnant! And let me not hear a word of this outside this room else, you're done."
"What is your problem Lola?! Aren't you tired of being alone?! Now God has been kind enough to bless you with a gift of child and you're here rejecting it? How selfish can you get?!"

That enraged me and I stood up as I released the pent up emotion that had been eating me up

"You dare call me selfish? You dare call me selfish?! You who left me for my younger sister dare call me selfish? You're a sick joke!"
"Really? You think so? Well first, I had no idea she was your sister. Second, what did you expect me to do? We were an item on campus for three years then after graduation, you disappeared without a word. What was I to do Lola? Tell me.''
"Even at that, why did it have to be Tinu? Why?" I shouted again
"Because she healed my heart. She made loving a woman easy for me again. I never even knew she was your sister cos you never introduced me to your family."

I broke down to the floor and started crying and Darey came around to my side of the bed. He put a hand on my shoulder and said,

"What happened wasn't anyone's fault Lola. Maybe God had other plans for us. I don't regret marring Tinu and I'm sure you've been happy with your life just as I am with mine"

I didn't answer him. I shrugged off his hand from my shoulder and at that point, Tinu walked into the room. I and Dare looked up together and before we could say anything, she went out again and Darey went after her. I couldn't understand the look I had seen on her face but somehow, I didn't feel bad that she had possibly heard our conversation. I felt bad for myself; for dragging out long buried corpses from the shadows of my memory.

.........................

Evening

I didn't go out of my room throughout today. Thankfully, Darey and Tinu had been quiet about the news of my pregnancy so when Mom had brought the pepper soup to my room, I didn't notice any change in her mood. She had stayed with me for a while after I refused going to the living room for fresh air. She had served me dinner again, avoiding adding any sea food as Darey had advised her. He had told her I was allergic to sea food so she made my dinner with chicken instead.

.......................

Left alone, I ponder on the news about my pregnancy. How did I miss the signs? I stood up and went to my mirror to properly look at myself. Yes, my flat tummy is same and my body still looked same if not, Mom would have noticed the difference but how did this happen? Yeah, the last time I had had sex without my pills was in October but I had used them as usual in November. how did this happen? Oh no! I'm not ready, I've never been ready and I don't think I'll ever be ready to be a Mom to some tiny being who'll be helplessly dependent on me for life. I can't do this. I have to get rid of this immediately before Mom finds out.

I went back to bed and cried myself to sleep.

DAY 7 (LOLA'S 12 DAYS OF XMAS)

Morning

It's Boxing Day and as I wake up, I pray that there'll be no literal boxing in this house but somehow, I wished I could see Jeff and box some sense into his legal head. Of all the things he claimed to know about me, he had gotten the chocolate gift wrong and that is completely unacceptable. Five more days to go and I'll see him then, I'll give him what he deserves.

You see; about Jeff, I like him. Yeah, I'll admit I do but not to the extent of letting myself go all for him. It will take a whole army to make me stoop that low for a man. I met Jeff five years ago at a board meeting. He had attended as the legal officer representing another major organisation to read through a contract that was to be finalized that day between both companies. I had noticed that he was stealing glances at me all through the meeting but had his full attention on the procedure at hand. After the meeting, he had walked up to me to introduce himself. I laugh every time I remember our conversation that day. I was walking to my car as he was talking.

"Hello. Excuse me... Hi, I'm Jeff Oku.  May I have the pleasure of meeting you?"

I had looked at him, head to toe to see if he was worth talking to. I was impressed by what I saw. He was tall and tall as I was, he was still taller than me by an inch. For a lawyer, he looked well built like he took his fitness routines serious. He had a handsome face with low cropped hair and a neatly shaved mustache. He looked well groomed and expensive but I wasn't interested. I still had Terry, my six months old bed mate and I was thinking of dumping him cos I was already tired of him complaining of not seeing me as often as he wanted. I had answered Jeff, "No." and kept on walking but he didn't stop following me.

"Okay. I don't mind getting to know you in the nearest future but I like what I see... beauty and brains"

I stopped and fully turned to face him before saying, "Now cut the chase Jeff or whatever. I noticed you looking at me in there. What do you want? To fuck me? Cos if that's what you want, I've got a fuck buddy already so, no thanks" I had started walking away feeling triumphant but he said things that stopped me in my tracks.

"On the question of if I want to fuck you, yes but, I'm not in a hurry. I've got other plans. Meanwhile, tell your fuck buddy to step down cos by the time we begin, three will definitely become a crowd"

That said, he put his card in my hand and said "That's my card, memorize my number so that when I call, you'll know it's me" then he walked away

I was again impressed. This time, not because of his looks but because of the way he handled the conversation. I'm used to being in charge and on the norm, I go after my own men. I select the ones I want and when I'm done with them, I move on but this time, Jeff took control of not just the conversation that day, but he went through the pains of chasing me. I gave him a hard time for six months but he didn't give up. Then on my thirtieth birthday; the first of July, he booked an all expense paid trip for me to go shopping in Paris for a week, alone. I was shocked. There and then, I knew he was my match. But, I had to warn him about commitments. I gave him my rules, I told him I didn't like clingy, intrusive men and he shouldn't expect that our friendship would lead to anything else. He agreed.

However, as the years passed, Jeff kept breaking the rules but somehow, I haven't been able to dump him cos, unlike the other men, there was nothing routine about us. We saw each other like four times in a month because of our busy schedules and we go on vacation together once in a year. He fit into the role perfectly and sometimes, I wonder if I really need him. I ended up allowing myself to let him stick around for a while longer but this year, I think we've been together far too long. We need to take a break.

..............................

Noon

I was at the dinning having lunch. Mom had prepared fresh fried rice and shrimps for me cos she knows I hate left over food. Tinu had gone to the movies with her  family, Bayo had accompanied Mummy Leke to her house so that he could assist her pack up for her trip to the US. She would be spending the New Year there with her son and his family. So that left Mom and I in the house alone. She joined me  with her own food and halfway through our meal, Mom started the dreaded "Talk" that comes whenever we have the opportunity to be alone.

"Lola" she paused wanting to be sure she had my full attention
"Yes Mami"
"Why don't you want to settle down?" her eyes were pleading
I didn't say anything, I continued eating.
"Lola, you know I'm your mother and I'll be the first person to tell you the truth"
I continued eating but nodded in agreement
"You're not getting younger Ife mi. You're accomplished. In fact, you have it all but my dear, you need a family of your own to complete you"
"Mami, I don't need anything more. I'm okay the way I am" I answered her
''Lola, you're not okay. Ever since you returned from Lebanon, you've changed. You're not my sweet loving, soft spoken daughter anymore. Everyone's afraid of you, I am sometimes even scared of stepping on your toes and I'm sure you've been chasing men away with that attitude. What happened to you Lola?"
"Life happened Mom. There's nothing wrong with me. I just choose to make my own choices and live by them" I said losing appetite for my food
"There's definitely something wrong somewhere Lola. You've never ever introduced any man as your boyfriend or fiance to me. Or, is it that you don't like men?"
I was surprised that she would think that way and it made me laugh as I replied, "Of course I like men Mami!"
"Then what's the problem?!" she looked and sounded exasperated
"There's no problem Mami, trust me. When I'm ready, I'll get married. Okay?"
"Oh Lola ..." she started crying.

Oh no! I don't need this right now. But she continued amidst tears.

"Look at your sister, she's happily married with three kids. But you, you don't even want to try. Ejo, ni tori olorun (please, in the name of God), at least show me a man and let me be assured that you really want to settle down"

"Okay. Mo ti gbo." I said feeling guilty but if only she knew.

..........................

Evening

Nothing happened this evening. So as I lay on my bed, I reflect on all what Mom had said. This isn't the first time we're having this kind of conversation so I'm not really bothered. It'll pass as usual like we never talked. That's Mom for you.

Day 7's been a bit emotional kudos to Mom, I better gird up and wear my amour against tomorrow else, I'll allow more wins against me.

DAY 4 (LOLA'S 12 DAYS OF XMAS)

Morning.

It's day 4 and I'm still alive, thankfully. Today's Saturday and everyone's awake already. Bayo's seriously cleaning the compound as is traditional for us to clean the house every Xmas period. Before Dad died, that responsibility fell on Tinu and I. It wasn't mandatory but it was fun as we used that opportunity to play around and also cause more mess which we ended up cleaning up anyways, with Dad's help of course. We would bring out all our old clothes, toys, books including stuffs we didn't need anymore in the house and put them all in a bag for those that needed it on the streets. It wasn't like we have so much but Mom said it was necessary to give even if we had little so, the tradition stuck.

Today, Bayo does that cleaning. I can't see myself doing all of that wahala anymore so, I had suggested to Mom that instead of giving out the old stuff, we could just go shopping for new stuff and then take then to the motherless babies home so they too can experience a real Christmas where everything smelt and tasted brand new. Mom had been ecstatic and had completely owned the idea. So, like an alarm clock, every two days before Christmas, she would remind me of the "Charity Trip" as she called it. I detest going to the market which is why I employed a personal shopper that goes to the local market for my groceries but Mom would never hear of it. For her, if you want to do good, do it yourself and do it well.

So, as I walked into the kitchen all freshened up for breakfast, I met Tinu preparing her kids's meal. She greeted me politely but turned back to focus on what she was doing or better still, ignore me. I answered her and went straight to the fridge to get some eggs. I felt like a heavy breakfast today because of the task ahead so I waited for her to finish before going ahead to prepare scrambled eggs filled with carrots, green pepper, spring onions, tomatoes and green peas to go with two slices of yam.

I was halfway through my meal when Mom walked in all dressed up as well with her note pad and pencil. She had eaten already thus she sat looking at me. I became uncomfortable and asked her,

"What Mami?"
"Lola, are you alright?"
"Yes of course. Why do you ask?"
She looked around her before replying "Well, Darey is here..."
"Oh..." I said feeling a sour taste in my mouth "ehn...I know" I answered keeping a straight face
"Lola, whatever Tinu said to you, ejor, ema binu. So ti gbo (please, don't be angry. Did you hear me?)?" Mom said holding her breath
"Mo ti gbo Ma (I've heard you Ma)" I said as I stood up to drop my plate in the sink.
"Ese Ife mi. Oya, eje alo (Thanks my love. Come on, let's go)" she said and started going out.

I picked up my car keys from the kitchen table, pondering on what she had said and then followed her out.

.........................

Noon.

Boundary Market was crowded. It was like a convergence of the world's population to shop for Christmas and that got me a lot of feet stepping, shoulder bumping and a lot of "Ah, sorry Aunty Oyinbo". I was pissed and irritated  cos each time an "Alabaru" (human mule at local markets) was approaching with a heavy basin of goods, I would see myself being tossed aside like a leaf by Mom from the road so I don't get crushed. The funny but annoying thing is, I don't know how she did it but she was untouchable in the crowd. It was like her big bombom was a defender against the pushes from the crowd. I felt cheated all of a sudden. I've got ass too; the kind of J Lo's ass that stays put forever but in this situation, it seemed useless. What a life!

All through, Mom kept complaining about the cost of everything; from the price of a bag of rice to a carton of noodles, oil, tomatoes, live goats, chickens, children's wears, shoes, and toiletries. I wasn't really bothered cos I haven't been to a market in the last seven years, since I started work at Trans International. So, I usually budget a million naira for the shopping and then I give another one million in cash to the manager of the Home. I do this for three Homes every year so, I'm used to Mom's complaint since the past four years we started.

Oops! I forgot to add, you see, Mom's very superstitious and it cracks me up every time she reminds me of what I have to do this period. When I clocked thirty,  she started panicking that I was still single without kids so, she decided on three homes as the significance for three kids that she wanted me to bear like Tinu.  Oh! there's another thing too! I have to kneel for all the kids at the Homes to lay hands on me and pray for me. She believes that the prayers of the children will usher in a good man that can tolerate my excesses. Seriously Mom? Oh lawd!

.........................

Evening

I was terribly exhausted by the time we drove into the compound by 7: 30 pm. I was staggering, I felt stiff with aches all over and so leaned against my car to feel my legs while waiting for Bayo to offload the foodstuff we had bought for the festivities from the boot.  I locked up the car afterwards and as I was about moving, I hit my right foot against something. The pain was so intense, I let out a loud scream as my feet buckled to the ground. Everyone rushed out of the house and were talking all at once. I couldn't hear them cos my major concern was if I had ruined my nails. I had and was bleeding. I looked at what I had hit and realized that it was the huge stone that Bayo usually used to wedge the gate after locking it. I became furious.

"Bayo! Se o fe lati pa mi? (do you want to kill me?)!"
Bayo looked like a scared cat as he stuttered in response "Ejo Aunty mi, ema binu. Epele Ma. Ema binu...(Aunty please don't be angry. I'm sorry)" he kept saying over and over again
"Gbe nu e dake jare! (shut up!)" I shouted in pain

Mom was shouting at Bayo to roll the stone away before someone else got hit, Tinu was saying "Epele" over and over again as she led the startled kids into the house while Darey was at my side helping me to my feet. I felt uncomfortable and hopped precariously as he led me into the house. Mom had quickly gone into the kitchen to mix hot water which coincidentally, was on the cooker boiling, with some disinfectant and  a towel . She was about kneeling and massaging my leg when Darey told her that he would do it instead. Mom argued a bit as usual but he had his way.

"You really need to rest Mami. Please, let me handle this okay?"
"Okay. Ese oko mi (thanks my husband)" she said and left

That left Darey and I in the kitchen alone. I was quiet as he busied himself with massaging the spot which was swollen and had turned an angry red now. Darey is a doctor so he knew what he was doing as he focused on the swollen area with an ointment I hadn't noticed he carried.

"You'll be alright now Lola. The balm will reduce the swell before morning. It will hurt till tomorrow but you'll be able to walk properly again by Christmas day". He finished but he was looking intently at me as if expecting me to say something else but I kept a poker face and nodded.

"Thanks Darey. I appreciate your help." then I got up and made to leave for my room but he quickly stood and held my arm but I cringed from him as I said,

"Don't worry, I've got this." I limped away
"Lola, let me help you. Please..." his look of pity strengthened my resolve and I answered over my shoulder
"Nobody can help me Darey. Good night"

.......................

Jeff didn't call again today but I wasn't bothered. I knew he was travelling today to  Dubai to meet with a client whom he had wanted to put on hold till the new year so he could spend Christmas with me but since I refused, he had rescheduled the meeting. Oh well, another eventful day it's been. Oh God, please tone it down. I don't even know what to expect anymore...

DAY 2 (LOLA'S 12 DAYS OF XMAS)

Morning

I woke up this morning feeling refreshed and famished. I immediately jumped off my bed to the bathroom to brush my teeth and as well do my morning facials ritual. You see, I'm a light skinned girl and a lot of people sometimes mistake me for a half caste, kudos to Dad. I look exactly like him, God rest his soul. Dad was really tall, elegant and handsome. He was quite the opposite of Mom who's plum, dark but tall as well. How they met, I still don't understand the gist but what I know is, they eloped at the age of nineteen and twenty. Dad had a lot of women suitors, like families who wanted their daughter to marry him but Dad choose Mom, his childhood sweetheart. They had to run away to be together and it was after ten years that they went back to their kinsmen to beg for forgiveness and to marry properly. See why I'll never understand the gist? I mean, how handsome can a man be to have women suitors?

 Anyways, back to me. I've got the most beautiful skin ever and trust me, it takes a lot of hard work to maintain it. Every morning, I literally worship my face with amazing skin care products from Estee Lauder and Lancome, my body treats costs a fortune but I don't mind. Afterwards, I go for a quick run. Unfortunately, Mom's estate is too small for a run so, I'll just have to watch what I eat.

....................

When I got to the kitchen, it was already 10:00 am and Mom was fuming with anger. I smiled at her and genuflected in greeting to her. I went straight to the fridge for my veggies salad but when I turned, she was right behind me, collected the plate from me and before I knew it, had thrown the veggies into the trash can. I was shocked but before I could vent, she beat me to the usual game by starting her usual long sermon that always made her feel like the victim of this harassment.

"Kilo n sie Lola?! (what's wrong with you) I spent time in this kitchen the whole of yesterday, preparing different types of meals for you but you didn't eat any. Now, you want to come and eat Ugwu (vegetable leaf) and tomatoes like a goat! " she stopped and then sat down heavily on her kitchen stool lamenting "This girl, ooni pa mi! (you won't kill me)"

I was really trying hard to control my anger but I couldn't so I flared up

"But I didn't ask you to cook for me! I told you I wasn't gonna eat all that junk you call food!"

At that point, Tinu walked in with a dumbfounded expression on her face before venting  as well.
"My God Sister Lola! How can you call Mom's food junk? She's only doing what a mother does!"

I lashed back in return "Yeah right Tinu! That's why you look just like her, FAT! I wonder how Darey keeps up with your weight" I finished and was about storming out of the kitchen but Tinu attacked me in the most vicious way she could.

"That's why he married me and not someone like you cos there'll always be something to hold on to. With you, he would have been holding on to thin air!" she stood glaring at me like she was set on a brawl. I was so angry that when I turned around, I bumped into Tj, Tinu's seven year old son who was coming into the kitchen at that point with a running nose but he hugged me instead when he saw that it was me and shouted,

"Good morning Aunty Lola!"

I was further irritated. That was the last thing I needed; a hug from a child with a running nose. I pushed him off and screamed, "Get away from me!" then I stormed out of the kitchen. Behind me, I could hear Tinu and Mom gasp in shock but I don't care. I'm already pissed. I mean, how could they both gang up on me and attack me that way. Is it by force to eat your mother's food? And to worsen it, get a clingy, slimy hug from a child. Gosh! I hate kids. I never even want to have them. Jeff had said on countless occasions how much he wanted to have at least three kids with me and I had simply laughed at him. That one is just fooling himself. Me! Children?!

I went into my room had a cold bath to let off steam, dressed up and left the house for a drive. A drive around the neighborhood will definitely do me some good.

..........................

Noon

I was driving into the compound when I heard my name but I ignored the caller cos I knew who it was. Mama Ireti is our neighbor from the next building and I dislike her with a passion cos she's a satelite dish with antennas that's always sniffing for news.  She called my name again and again from where she sat at her balcony then I gave in. I turned around threw her a quick greeting before hurrying away but the old witch wouldn't let me go. She stood up and rested her elbows on the rails of the balcony before asking,

"Lola omo da da, bawo lowa? Oko nko? Omo nko?" (Lola my good child, how are you? what about your husband and children?)
"They are fine Mama. Thank you" I replied and made to move again but she continued
"But you did not come with them na. I saw you when you arrived yesterday." she said in her rich English accent. Her husband's actually wealthy with all their five kids abroad so, she lived on the business of the neighborhood to survive from dying of boredom.

Exasperated already by the small talk, I quickly answered, "They'll come Ma. Ese Ma" and I literally ran into the house before she remembered that the black Toyota Land Cruiser Prado jeep I brought home this time wasn't the same as the white 2015 Infiniti Jeep I had brought home last year.

When I got inside the house, I went straight to the dinning where Mom had again laid the table for my meal. This time, I ate the freshly prepared catfish pepper soup and some oranges for desert. Then I went to my room to do some work on my laptop. I'm not talking to Tinu just yet. She has to apologize to me first and then, peace can reign.

........................

Evening

I had watched E! and some drama series on Ebony Life Tv after replying my mails, made some calls and checked the figures for the proceeds of last week's sales from my fish farm. My Manager was doing a great job and even if I hadn't been there in the last three months because of my numerous official trips abroad, every report he sent was accurate. Of course, he can't cheat me, he knows I'll find out as the financial guru that I am.

Lol

Mom had also come into my room earlier to talk to me about making peace with Tinu but I had refused. Like seriously people, why should I even apologize to anyone at all? What I said was right! If she wasn't eating too much, she wouldn't be overweight! Period! She has to come and apologize for insulting me about my marital status. In fact, I don't even want to think about it.

My phone is ringing and Jeff is calling again. This man. You keep violating the rules. Don't call me till I want to call you, but you won't listen. You're on your own Jeff. I'm not answering.

The phone rang like five more times and then I picked.

"What part of "don't call me" don't you understand Jeff?" I barked into the receiver
"Hey sweet pea! How are you and how did it go today?" his deep calm voice boomed into my ears
"Listen Jeff, I'm not in the mood for sweetness. My day was sour"
"You quarreled with your Mom and Tinu right?" he asked amused
"And how would you know that?" I was indeed surprised
"Well, that's what always happens on every second day of your twelve days visit to them Lolly." he laughed
"This is so not funny Jeff." I fumed but he was right. It had become a routine I can't even keep count.
"Listen Babe, go and make peace with them and stop calling Tinu 'Fat' cos she isn't okay" he sounded serious now
"But she's a size ten and to me, that's extremely fat!" I'm pissed again that he's taking their side
"Lolly, whatever. Just make peace with her okay?"
"I'll do it at my own time. You don't tell me what to do Jeff."
"Okay. I love you Sweet Pea."
"Noted. Bye" and I hung up but I heard him chuckle at the end

I'm not apologizing shit to Tinu.

Then I remembered little Tj. Poor him. He had also been at the receiving end of my wrath. I'll have to make up for it somehow. I have to make it up to him. I wouldn't want to have nightmares of some bitter kid chasing me with a toy gun. I'll think up a surprise for him tomorrow. Talking about tomorrow, it had better be drama free. But who knows? With my family, something crazy always comes up.

DAY 1 (LOLA'S 12 DAYS OF XMAS)

Mid Morning

I hate Xmas, I hate driving myself, I hate Lagos' traffic, I hate the fact that I'm going home to fulfill all righteousness of upholding Mom's tradition of family spending time together during Christmas. Dearest Mom, if I had my way I would stop honoring this annoying tradition cos trust me, the drama that follows could fill up a history book far more than the Cold War. Yeah, my family's very dramatic. They exaggerate everything and it gets really irritating and sometimes, I can't even deal. Gosh! that's why I ensure they only see me once a year when I've got to sacrifice 12 whole days of my precious time, putting my life on hold to grace them with my presence.

Oops! Sorry. Let me introduce myself. My name is Lola Peters. I'm 35, unmarried, very beautiful, classy and sophisticated. I'm a financial expert with one of the world's largest transport and logistics firm and of course, I've got my own fish farm on the side. I'm happy, I'm comfortable and I'm rich. Boyfriend? Well, I've got Lawyer man Jeff. He's alright but sometimes, I wonder if I really need him.

Anyways, I'm driving to Mom's now and the traffic is so annoying. What I still can't understand is how Fashola was able to give these crazy tanker drivers a 48 hours ultimatum to evacuate the highways and Ambode can't do same. This is just another reason I hate coming to the mainland. A thirty minutes trip always ends up becoming an hour's trip or more.  I've honked my horn several times but everything and everyone seems to be dragging. Oh hell! my phone's ringing again and it's Mom. I had given her a heads up about me arriving the house today and she's been calling like I'm driving all the way from abroad. This better be good.

"Yes Mami"
"Lola omo mi, ba wo ni?" she sounded worried
"Mami, the traffic is terrible but I should be home in the next fifteen minutes"
"Okay dear. I've prepared your favorite dish of semo and eforiro okay?"
"Mami I appreciate but I've told you before, that used to be my favorite dish but now, it's simply veggies, no fat at all. And besides, I'm watching my weight. So, just send Bayo to get me some veggies instead will you?"
"What weight are you watching ni?! You that looks like a bonga fish!"
"It's called being "slim and healthy" Mami. Just send for the veggies will you?"
"Okay!"
"And please Mami, stop calling you're making me nervous"
"Hian! okay o! See you soon Ife mi"
"Yes Ma"

Jeez! Mom can be so annoying. I always end up adding weight when I visit her so I had to make a resolve to stop eating her meals. It breaks her heart but, my weight is more important to keep in check. Oh Lord, make this holiday worth this stress and sacrifice of my time.

............................


Noon

So, fifteen minutes turned into thirty minutes extra, added to the one hour I had already spent on the road. I was fagged out by the time I got to the gate of the compound. I cringed when I heard screams and loud footsteps bounding down the stairs towards me. Oh no! they're here. My younger sister's kids; two boys and a girl. Tinu had married early and at the age of thirty, she still looked beautiful. I leaned on my car to keep myself from falling as the kids jumped on me. They're so adorable but they looked dirty and I had to gently push them off before they stained my white boubou gown. Tinu who stood aside was looking at us with a funny smile on her face cos she understood my dislike for dirty kids. We hugged after I had successfully untangled myself from the strong hold of the giggling kids.

"Sister mi, you look amazing as ever" Tinu said with obvious envy

I smiled fondly at her and said "For a mother of three, I must say that you look healthy"

"Oh please, don't flatter me. I've told Darey that if I find his thing in me again, I'll kill him."

That cracked me up cos I knew she was joking. Her and her husband were a pair  and I'm sure he'll be joing us soon. We all went inside and the moment Mom heard my voice, she rushed out of the kitchen and was all over me, checking my vitals, from the tip of my hair to the soles of my feet. I had to struggle not to continue rolling my eyes. Before I knew it, she was leading me to the dinning table to eat from what looked like a buffet. There was the legendary Efo riro, semo, amala, assorted meats in stew, catfish pepper soup, ewedu soup, and of course, a small portion of my veggies diced on a platter. I was baffled and as I turned to look at Mom in amazement, she shrugged before turning to call Bayo to take my bags to my room. Bayo, a distant relative of ours has been staying with Mom for ten years now since Dad died and I pay for his education just like I pay for everything that concerns Mom. I turned to leave as well but Mom stopped me and asked,

''Ah han! se oni jehun ni Lola?" (won't you eat Lola?)

"Ejor Mami, mo fe lo wena. Ese Ma"  (Please Mom, I want to shower first) with that, I hurried to my room before we argued about it.

..........................

Evening

I had fallen into a deep sleep after having my bath and when I checked my phone, I saw ten missed calls from Jeff. That pissed me off. Sometimes, he behaved exactly like my Mom, too intrusive for my liking. I wonder how we've been together for five years. I should have dumped his sorry ass long ago but, he fits the role perfectly. He's 38, handsome, successful and responds whenever I want him. Exactly what I want in a man. I dropped the phone on the bed to go back to sleep but it started ringing again. I picked it up angrily and shouted,

"What is it Jeff?! You've called ten times already!"
"Hey Lolly, I'm glad you're alright. I was worried sick" he sounded relieved
"And why were you worried?"
"Well, cos this is the first time this year you're visiting your Mom so I was worried you wouldn't remember the route anymore and might end up getting lost"
"Seriously Jeff? You know what, don't call me, I'll call you when I want. And don't even think about coming here either. I've got to go now. Bye"
"Hey, hey, hey! hold it babe" he sounded soft now for a tough man with a domineering height like him and it always pissed me off whenever he got that way.
"What?!" I asked impatiently
"I miss you already"
"Noted. Now bye Jeff. Later" I hung up

Dear Jeff, I wonder how I put up with him. He's always fussing and it's irritating. Yes, he cares about me and wants us to do things together most of the time but time is what I don't have for all of that mushy crap. Imagine him wanting to come to Mom's with me. Ugh! What a man!

I tiptoed to the door to listen for any sound but there was none. I quietly opened my door and went to the dinning. The table was empty thankfully. Mom must be mad at me already for not eating at all. It was late already and even if I ate, she would conclude that I didn't so, I sneakily went back to my room to prepare myself for day two. Who knows what drama awaits to unfold tomorrow? Right now, all I want to do is sleep again.