FROM THE WRITER'S DESK

Never judge a book by it's cover.
True value is not material; it goes way beyond the physical. It comes with experience garnered.

Friday, 26 January 2018

DORCAS SHOLA FAPSON, TAXIFY DRIVER & HATEFUL COMMENTS ABOUT HER HARASSMENT.

It's exactly 1:08 am as I write this post. I'm pissed. Totally consumed with anger for the senseless way people (especially women ) talk down on other women in this dear country of ours. I also pity the men who blame women for every mishap that happens to them. I pray none of them or their loved ones experience such unfortunate incident as what happened to MTV's "SUGAR" actress, Dorcas Shola Fapson. It's so upsetting that when issues like rape, molestation, sexual harassment, kidnap, abuse and all come up, the women will say things like; "serves her right! she asked for it. She's ashewo! (a prostitute) why did she wear a short skirt? why did she go out at that time of the day? Is she a virgin? why is she pretending not to like it?". While the men will say; " abi she didn't want to give it to me, now someone else has taken it. She's a ho!. She's just trying to implicate the poor man cos she's a woman" In Dorcas's case, a guy commented on Instablog, "She's too stubborn. Where was she going at night?". Like seriously?! Oh! how I weep for the ignorance of humans.

I don't know what took me to Instablog Naija's page on Instagram where I stumbled on DSF's story of her sordid experience with a Taxify driver. I actually follow her on SnapChat and had seen her snap stories explaining the event. She didn't release the videos but still I didn't really get the picture. Then on Friday, I saw her snap stories again and this time, she was talking about people calling her a "liar" who was only trying to frame up the "innocent guy" and gain popularity from it. That didn't really get to me cos of course, people spit shit occasionally but then, I saw the two videos she released and right there in the coolness of my office, I froze, I panicked cos I could feel the fear and threat she felt as she screamed in the second video where the driver was dragging her out of the car. I was automatically reminded of my own ordeal with another taxify driver two weeks ago who caused a scene, laid hands on my laptop bag and suit as well as threatened to beat up my friend and I outside our house all because, he had refused to listen to the direction I gave him after picking me from my office and had chosen to drive me around Lekki for close to twenty minutes on a trip that usually took me just about ten minutes.

His annoyance was that even if he was at fault, I was to pay him the extra amount that accumulated the fare which I wasn't willing to. I had paid him the actual amount I was to pay cos there was no surge and refused cos, he had taken his time on the trip, driving in a snail like motion, stopping and parking at will on the road, taking his time to go through his phone, driving slowly again, before finally entering a street I could finally recognize.

Luckily, my friend knows one of Taxify's staff so we called and I was able to speak to a customer care representative who took down the details of the incident, apologized and assured me that I would receive an email the following day about the penalty that will be meted out to the driver. Unfortunately, I never got any mail till date. I chose not to talk about it cos I'm not the type that would go to any extent to make someone lose a job but I'm writing about this today cos I'm ashamed of  some of the comments I'm reading on Instablog's page; especially those coming from some of the women. It reeks of hate, vindictiveness, vengeance, envy and worse of all ignorance. Why so judgmental people?!

I don't know what really ensued between Dorcas and that driver cos I wasn't there but seriously though, didn't anyone see that video? And to that person that decided to become Investigator and got the driver's side of the story, did the background of that video look like a safe place? How did he suddenly drive Dorcas to his own house at that time of the night? Why did he choose a dark and isolated area to park if really she refused to pay him his money? Where were the concerned residents and his sisters while Dorcas was screaming in the video? how come they didn't show up while she was screaming but they showed up while he was shouting for help?

Another thing is, let's say for instance it wasn't a case of rape, was this driver supposed to harass her like that? I don't get it but my question now is for those women lashing out at Dorcas, is this the way you love to be treated and mishandled by a stranger you've never met before? Would you love to be dropped and dragged in an unknown location in the middle of the night? Honestly, I really pray this doesn't happen to any of you cos if it does, the stigma might not even allow you come out to speak about it.

Dorcas isn't my friend or sister but I am writing this as someone who's had a similar experience. I mean, if it wasn't for the security guards in our compound that day, God knows what that driver would have done to my friend and I cos even after we entered the compound, he banged on the gate and tried to come in as well.  Dorcas's case isn't the first, someone on Snap Chat also complained that that same driver tried to rape her twin sister save for the fact that she was able to escape out of the moving car! Jeez! And that makes me wonder about other victims of such circumstances who can't come out to speak.

To Taxify, it's high time you handled these issues professionally. If you're out for business, you should have measures to handle and curtail crisis like these. The appropriate measures should be taken to ensure the safety of your clients as well as the drivers. I don't even want to talk about some of the drivers who are arrogant and can just cancel a trip on you even after arriving at your pickup location; thereby wasting your time. In the process, they taint the image and spoil the hustle of the honest and hard working drivers out there. Dear Taxify, call your people to order! A customer relations training organised for them is highly recommended for them at this point. Do you even know your drivers well enough to trust them with the lives of people? Asides that, they should also be taught safety measures to protect themselves as well in a civilized way and not in such horrendous manner as what I saw that driver do in Dorcas'video.

Dear Nigerians, it is not every celebrity that likes cheap fame and would go to the extent of bringing down non celebrities just to achieve such and also, it is not every hard working, hustling person out there that's honest in achieving their goals. In other words, it's not every wealthy person that's wicked and it's not every poor person that's the victim. It happens Vice Versa sometimes too. Let's not be too quick to judge cos it just might be you.

I hope this ends well for both parties.


Sunday, 21 January 2018

IF I WERE A BOY... GLORY's Version





I've always loved great soul singers like Jill Scott (http://bit.ly/2BhsFY5), India Arie (http://bit.ly/2DnRnbb) and Beyonce (http://bit.ly/2G3o9Qr) even if their music sort of falls in the different genres of Jazz, Soul, and RnB. I love their lyrics, musical compositions and all but the icing on the cake is the soul in their music. When they sing, you can literally feel the life behind every word and somehow, the blend of strength and weakness in their voice gives a new definition of the power of music. Their musical ideologies are similar as well as they sing a lot about the black woman; the color of her skin, her love, her life, her pain, her needs, her wants, her style, her dreams, her hopes, her strength and her weakness.

Jill Scott sure does a good job emphasizing on "how to treat a woman right" in most of her
songs but Beyonce really hit the nail on the head with one particular track from her "I Am... Shasha Fierce" album (http://bit.ly/2DU9c2n). When I first listened to "If I were a boy" I was totally smitten by the freshness of the rhythm and the cool vibe of the song. It was totally different from Beyonce's style. I loved the lyrics as well but I've never really given much thought about the lyrics until today.  Strange right?

In that song, Beyonce is pissed with the insensitive nature of boys/men towards (although, some say it was Jay Z) women and says that she'd rather be more attentive, understanding, loving and a better man which in my opinion is what most women want asides material things. So, I created my own list of things I would do if I were male.

  1. I'd be more sensitive not just for myself but for others
  2. I'd respect women 
  3. I'd listen more and not just hear her talk cos I really want to understand her perspective
  4. I'd be considerate cos selfishness's got many faces
  5. I'd be thoughtful. This is highly imperative cos I don't know if I should call it ignoring the needful or plain ignorance but most guys could be really clueless about what women want and when they're reminded, they call the woman a "nag"
  6. I won't be quick to call a woman a hoe cos she refused to have sex with me but chooses to date my friend instead. After all, guys do it more often too.
  7. I won't be too quick to label my girlfriend materialistic if she asks for cash after all, she doesn't call me a fuck boy when I ask for sex
  8. I won't encourage my woman to be all natural and then chase after chicks with fake extensions in hair, lashes, nails, bum, boobs, hips, and lenses. If I want her to wear the costumes, I'd gladly ask her to and not deceive her.
  9.  I'd defend her honour and not allow my friends or other people to talk down on her
  10. I'd play with her cos damn! some guys are just too stiff and unnecessarily too serious.
  11. I'd take her places. I won't be ashamed of introducing her as my woman. I'll mean it when I say it cos I won't introduce other women in that manner.
  12. I won't tell her "behave yourself in public" while I turn a loose cannon cos most men are guilty of this crime against female expression. 
  13. I won't subject her to the silent treatment. If we've got issues, we'll talk about it or communicate in our own special way cos a lot of guys think that torturing a woman with silence would set her straight. Bad news is, it doesn't and never will. 
  14. I'll help her and not make her struggle alone if there's a challenge
  15. I'll be faithful to her cos she knows I'm expecting her to do same
  16. I'd support her dreams and help her grow. I won't see her success as a threat.
  17. I won't be stingy with compliments. 
  18. I won't make her feel like I'm doing her a favour by dating/being married to her cos some guys thinks exactly this way. Jeez!
  19. I'd respect her time cos I won't want her to disrespect mine.
  20. I'll practice the rule of omission instead of lying endlessly cos I'll definitely need another lie to cover the existing lie. 
  21. Let her past remain there, I won't go digging and I won't use any of what I know about her against her cos I've got my own past too. Heck! everyone's got a story to tell.
  22. I won't make stupid promises I know I won't keep. 
  23. I won't just tell her but I'll show her that I love her cos sometimes, words are dust if they're not backed up with proof.
Of course, I won't turn into a saint cos I'm not; I'm not perfect in that way but from my survey, these are some basic things that women want from their men. So, if you have anything contrary to this, please feel free to share in the comments section below. If you're a guy reading this and you feel there are things you'd do better if you were a girl, also feel free to state them in the comments sections below.

Cheers!

Saturday, 20 January 2018

HAPPY NEW YEAR! (Sorry It's Coming Late Everyone)


Wheew!

What an amazing 2018 it's been so far! What's up everyone? Happy New Year! I'm so sorry it's coming late but it's better late than never ain't it? So, I've been meaning to write, write and write more but I've been doing a great job with procrastination. Many thanks to the many changes in my life, I'm seriously trying to adjust into the new roles that God has fashioned out for me and thankfully, I'm doing an amazing job already.

2017 was a bitter sweet year for me and I'll be doing a post about "Things I learnt in 2017". Then I'll share a lot of my experiences; I mean, the good the bad and the ugly. So for those of you that created one form of drama or the other in my life last year, you had better come and appease the gods (me of course!) or else, your file will be opened on my blog.

Lol

That was a joke!

Anyways, major announcement everyone. My YouTube channel, "Frankly Speaking with Glory" (http://bit.ly/2rpqO3Q) will be back to life next week and I'm talking about episodes that are fun and engaging. I'll be sharing and writing more about the issues I discuss in my videos so please everyone, I'll need your comments, contributions, and suggestions if any on my YouTube channel and here on the blog. Remember, Frankly Speaking with Glory is a platform where I share my opinion about various issues and you are definitely welcome to do same in the comments section.

By the way, if you enjoyed my FSWG Series last year, simply comment "Yay!" in the comments section as well. I've been getting amazing reviews about the stories and I'm fired up to write more however, I've got new engagements this year that'll be taking a lot of my time so I really need feedback from you guys to know if I should continue with the series. There's "BURNT" the story of Mila and "Lola's 12 Days of Xmas" my Xmas series.  If you haven't read any of them yet, feel free to do so as the episodes are available here

on the blog.

To all of you my amazing readers, thanks a million, you're the best. Don't worry, our Give Away will still come up this year. If you aren't following my blog yet, what are you waiting for? Hurry! Join the family.

All said, do have a prosperous and fruitful New Year everyone!

MyYa's Cafe - The Best Coffee Place in Lagos, Nigeria

Hey Guys!, Happy New Year to you all. I Just wanted to mention the best coffee place in Lagos, I just visited, called MyYa's Cafe @ ...