TYPES OF PEOPLE IN A NIGERIAN WORK PLACE

What's up Fam!
Yas! Cheers to the weekend!

So, this post is inspired by an article I read on News Republic yesterday. As I read the article titled;
"6 Types of Toxic People You Should Never Befriend at Work" see link https://bit.ly/2nIZrwT , I laughed really hard because I could totally relate to every example that was cited therein. Working in different organisations overtime has helped me in meeting new people, building my social network, growing my career, developing my work ethics as well as studying and understanding humans in general. Trust me, you don't learn all these in one day; and even when you think you've learnt it all, the dynamism and transitioning of the human mind, character, behavior and attitude keeps defying your "understanding. However, there are some of these traits that are static and not susceptible to change thus, we're sure of finding them everywhere we migrate to just like MTN. So below, I have listed out some types of people we are definitely bound to meet at work places. If you're already an employer or employee, you should have met all or some of them already

The certified workers: these are the real employees of every organization. They're there to do what they were originally hired for. They resume early, work their buts off effectively & efficiently and deliver timely without compromising quality. As a result of their strength in the organization, they are sometimes considered "too serious" by other colleagues. Some of them are friendly; some are warm, some are stiff, some are just in between but, they are cordial with everyone. Most importantly, they mind their business. They rarely interfere with their colleagues' affairs and when there're ongoing conversations about the company/organisation/the Boss, they activate their ghost mode. As strong as they are, they are very few in organisations; I don't know why.

The "awa ni e" workers: these ones are those who turn the work place into an ethnic union. They literally forget that it's actually a work place and not a location for village meetings thus everyday is a "get together" for them. Their language of communication is their shared dialect and not the English language (I'm sure we can relate already). They're not very productive but they sure know how to do "eye service". When they see the Boss, they become very restless and energetic, gallivanting the entire perimeter of the office to show that they are busy. They're the ones who resume late and leave early. Their productivity is solely driven by the immediate rewards and they sure know how to be "committed" to growing the company ONLY when the Boss can see them.

The Petty ones: You don't want to be friends or enemies with them. They'll make your life miserable. They literally come to work everyday with invisible binoculars to see who is working and who isn't whilst they're lazying about. They dish out clap backs without thinking. In their opinion, they deserve to be respected and can't bear it when a fellow colleague stands up to them. The sad thing about this set is, they've got a million flaws which they don't see but is obvious to others who dare not tell them about it. They derive pleasure in causing and judging rifts between colleagues so that at the end of the day, they would be the ones to settle the issues and then be branded the peace makers. My advise, NEVER take advice from these people; it'll be you shooting yourself in the leg.

The Know it all: You see these ones, na only them sabi book. You no go school o! In fact, if they work in accounting and you're in marketing, they'll teach you your job and try in every way to convince other colleagues that you do not know your job. They deliberately leave their tasks and question you about your relevance to the company and whenever you ask them a question, they smugly refer you to "go and read it on google" but not without first giving an irrelevant lecture about what you didn't ask in the first place. They're never wrong in their overloaded heads. You can't even have a descent conversation with them cos your opinion wouldn't matter. And if they're married with kids and you're not; ah! okpari! you're intellectually finished! So; the deal is, never engage them in an argument, except you've got the mental energy.

The Smilers: This set of people will do any and everything to be in everyone's good books and strangely, it works well for them. According to someone I know, "I'm sorry" is their second name. They can apologize for Africa and they smiled and laugh a lot. Even when they're upset; they wear the smile like a second skin. Colleagues can't really tell who they are on the inside cos their ability to shield their real personality is simply amazing. I see this as a strength sometimes but other times, I feel like they unconsciously present themselves as a push over to the savage colleagues who enjoy taking advantage of everything.

The Pervs: These ones need deliverance. They're the ones that watch porn during work hours and when they see a fellow colleague; male/female, they want to touch them or hug them. You hear them make silly comments or asking suggestive questions such as, "you look sexy today, I feel like giving you a sweet hug right now, what did you do last night? Hope you got some over the weekend, Is your man hitting it right? etc". They just can't help themselves. What do you do? Set boundaries; don't allow them get too close cos people like this will definitely blackmail you if you don't play along.

The Warm Hearts: These ones are naturally warm at heart. They are the "go to" in every office. They provide the warm desk for everyone that needs a breather, they are friendly and approachable but most importantly, they mind their business without kissing anybody's ass. They're not the way they are cos they want to please anyone; they're just naturally so.

So, this is basically my observation from my years of working in different organizations. I know the type of office colleague I am; which category do you fall in? Comment below and if you have any other category you feel I didn't talk about, feel free to share.

Cheers!
Remember, this is my Frankly Speaking opinion.

What If?

This is just a brief post to cause us to THINK. Yeah, I know; most of my posts causes people to think but this one's sort of different. It'a a rhetorical question sort of post. But you can choose to provide answers anyways.

So, I'm currently in the office where I run a 9-5 job, I'm creating graphic designs and marketing content for the company, listening to Travis Greene bless and empower my spirit woman with his gospel melodies and then a thought struck me like lightening. I had to pause my roving mind to ask myself; Glory, what if you were deaf? Would you be able to listen and appreciate the gifted voice of Travis Green? What if the only way you can hear is by reading lips? What if you can't see? Would you be able to see the smile lighting up your face as you appreciate the lyrics of his songs?

You see, I couldn't answer my questions. I still can't. I'm overwhelmed with so much gratitude for completeness. You see, I have someone really close to me who's deaf and dumb and growing up in the same family, sharing the same blood running through our veins, sharing the same surname, sharing the same parents and siblings, I found it difficult to understand why my sister couldn't hear the things I heard or appreciate the noisy environment we grew up in. I found it difficult to understand why she could only sign to me in quince English and not pidgin as we enjoy using for communication among ourselves as kids. Even when I finally learnt sign language so I could communicate with her freely, attend her Jehovah's witness meetings with her just so I could understand the peculiarities of her world, I still found it sometimes frustrating that she couldn't give the level of enthusiasm and excitement I would give to an experience or situation. And when she got really mad at me or any of my siblings, I got angry and felt she had no right to get too pissed but she could be pissed just a lil bit.

Ah! Those years, my naive little mind lacked understanding and even though we were best of friends, I still didn't understand why she was deaf and we weren't. I'm not deaf and dumb now. I don't pray to be but today, for the first time, I'm picturing myself in that situation, having that sort of struggle, that sort of life, that sort of foreverness to deal with and I just keep asking myself,;

 Glory, what if?

My sister is married with kids, she's alive and well. Yes! She has a life of her own and I'm thankful for that.

I just want us to take this few minutes to ask ourselves these questions, ponder on them and use well what we've been given freely.

1. What if we couldn't speak
2. What if we couldn't hear
3. What if we couldn't feel
4. What if we couldn't breathe
5. What if we couldn't walk
6. What if we couldn't touch
7. What if we couldn't see
8. What if we couldn't eat or drink
9. What if we weren't male or female
10. What if we were animals
11. What if we were plants
12. What if we were objects
13. What if we didn't exist at all
14. What if we had no love
15. What if we had no family
16. What if we had no friends
17. What if we had no kids
18. What if we had no hope
19. What if we have no future
20. What if we had nothing at all?

WHAT IF?

Use rightly what you've been given freely

Cheers!

(Sorry, it turned out to be a bit lengthy. I write too much)

Ladies; Do You Really Want to Get Married? (THIS ISN'T A FEMINIST POST!)

Hey Ladies!

Happy fabulous weekend again!

Yes, I'm back with my usual musing and today, I'll be sharing something that's been a brain breaker for me. This post stems from the numerous falsities we see everyday. I'm talking about couples who pose to be happy in the public's eye while inside their homes, it's a physical or mental warfare. I'm also referring to the numerous planned or unplanned public proposals we see everyday on and offline. Most of these people get so carried away with the thrill of being spot on and just because, they don't want to be left out of the numbers of ladies who've been publicly proposed to, they accept, or they don't want to disgrace the guy proposing, they accept whilst panicking within them, wondering if they are ready for what's to come. Some people rush out after 3 months, 6 months or 1 year.

But before I continue, here are some questions I want us to answer as honestly as possible. Let's be real. Don't be shy, don't answer "nicely" or "sadly" cos you're scared someone that knows you will recognize you and talk about you. Just let it out so we can all learn. If society, our family, friends, the church and all institutions that stands for "morality" didn't deem it fit the norm for every young woman to get married at a certain age, would you ever consider getting married? Would you ever consider sharing your time, your space, your secrets, your truths, your lies, your weakness, your strengths, your flaws, your perfections, your thoughts, your mind, your needs, your wants, your ambitions, your fears, your dreams, your achievements, your beauty, your body, your soul and your heart with just one person for the rest of your life? For those of you who are already married; if you knew what you know now before you ever got married, if you knew who your spouse really is way before you ever married them, if you knew the reality of what it entails being a mother, a wife and a married woman, would you have ever gotten married?👧

I for one have thought about these questions in the past and currently, I'm still thinking about them cos according to societal standards, I'm ripe for marriage. In the past; it was one of my key prayer points to get married at the age of 25. The plan was this;

1. Get admission into school at the age of 18 (cos I finished secondary school at the age of 16)
2. Graduate University at age 21
3. Finish NYSC at age 22/23 (meet my husband in the process)
4. Do my Masters between age 23/24
5. Get married at age 25! 

LOL

What a plan I had!

Sorry, it didn't work out that way (don't ask what happened) and strangely, I'm glad it didn't cos I wouldn't know the things I know now, I probably wouldn't be a blogger, I probably wouldn't be doing what I want to do now, I probably would be nursing a mini me or doing God knows what. I don't know but I'm glad I'm not yet married. Sounds weird right? You might be thinking, "how can she be 28, still unmarried but yet happy?" or "she's just consoling herself cos she's almost late". Lol. That's totally not the case here. This is a case of finding the self , the exhilarating feeling of self discovery, the joy of setting new priorities plus working towards new goals for a great future. 

I've given much thought about the questions I asked and the truth is, it's tough. Marriage isn't just a decision you make because you have butterflies in your tummy, it's not about your instincts telling you to "just do it", it's not about society pressurizing you to "hurry up and settle down!", it's not about your family comparing you to "your mates who already have three kids while you're still stewing in the old maid's room", it's not about what people generally say or will say about your time and status, it's basically all about YOU. YOU will need to be mentally, emotionally, psychologically and financially (realistically, to some extent) prepared to be involved in such a commitment. YOU will be the one giving your ALL to someone as well as taking on that person's ALL too. YOU will be the one shedding yourself to create an entirely new YOU for a new set of people. YOU will be the one giving up your body for housing and producing new helpless beings that'll be dependent on your sanity to exist and YOU will have to learn to become the manager of a micro community of persons called "family". Are you ready for this?

I have a married friend in her early thirties who would always say that she wished she had waited just a little bit more before settling down. According to her, it's sweet the first one year, then afterwards, you start seeing things you never knew that your partner had. And sometimes when you feel like running back to your old self, your family and society reminds you that you had sworn to remain there for better for worse. If you ever even considered a divorce, the stigma of becoming a single mother would have demoralized you before you even started thinking about the hardship that awaits you outside your home . She would also complain about her body which had changed so much since birthing her kids. For her, she thought she was ready for the change but after having two kids, she realized there was no going back.

She's doing pretty great for herself but I guess marriage has a million ways of taking you unawares. What you think isn't what you end up getting, forget the WOW things you see on TV and on the internet. But all the same, it's different strokes for different folks. Her story might be this way but other ladies might have a different tale to tell, who knows?

So if you ask me if I really want to get married and have kids, I'll say yes BUT, I want to be mentally, emotionally and psychologically prepared for such a commitment. I want to be able to come to terms with the fact that my body will become a safe haven to a person or persons, I want to do it on my own terms and not because there is pressure from anywhere or anyone and I think these things are key before taking such a leap in life. 

So; to all single ladies, considering the few things stated here,  DO YOU REALLY WANT TO GET MARRIED? Drop your comments in the comments section below and feel free to share this post. If you have any experience to share, please do so freely and let's learn more.

Cheers!

 

Let's Talk About "SELF LOVE"

Hello Ladies and Gentlemen!
A happy New Month and a chilling weekend to you all.😃

So, the issue of "self love" has been on my mind to write about for a while now and I thought; the best time to write about it is NOW. I'm sick and tired of seeing people's captions on Social Media as;
"#self love"
"love yourself"
"only me matter"
"me, myself and I"
"my life, my rules"
"I am King"
"I love me" e.t.c

Everything they ever post about is me, myself and I. If you're one of those that can't do without using or thinking any of these captions, you need Jesus.

Don't get me wrong; I'm not against this concept. I mean, I'm a petite 28 year old female, I'm not exactly big in all ramifications and when people look at me, they tell me they love my body which is something I've been struggling with for a while now. Thus, I've been learning to love my body. So, you see, I've got my own physical insecurities as well as other life insecurities too. Also, a fat person could be learning to love themselves to reject the societal misconception of the true meaning of "beautiful", a dark skinned woman/man confesses self love daily with the "melanin" mantra cos they are now embracing that black is beautiful, a tailor sings "self love" while riding the machine cos he/she has learnt to think beyond the name to the status of "fashion designer' and so on and so forth. All of these are positive vibes, however, I have issues with the way people abuse the meaning of "Self Love"

Let's at least understand the literal meaning of self love; it is what it is, the love of one's self. Going further to understand what it stands for, it is basically the promotion of a high self esteem for individuals to love themselves regardless of their flaws, to believe in themselves and to see themselves capable of greatness. This is basically to kill depression, hopelessness as well as the "I am not enough" syndrome that could eventually lead to a mental breakdown, suicide attempts or suicide itself. But what we have these days; sadly, is contrary to the true meaning of this concept.

Self love now means vanity, selfishness and narcissism. It is now extreme obsession with the self regardless of the negative impact a "self love" decision could have on others. Self love is now a moral flaw and it is upsetting when you see people displaying this stupidity with such relish like they are doing the world a favor by being selfish.

Please,

1. self love is not you hoarding money from your friends and then going ahead to lavish it on yourself cos you feel you deserve to be spoilt extravagantly.
2. Self love is not you being mean to others and then being over the top nice to yourself. That's selfishness.
3. Self love is not you being petty all the time, that's your lack of emotional intelligence.
4. Self love is not being too proud to regard people as being humans just like you, that 's you being egoistic.
5. Self love is not you seeing yourself as always blameless while others are always wrong, that's you being manipulative.
6. Self love is not you deriving pleasure in always breaking the rules, 
7. It is not you projecting a trophy image of yourself to people while you project a false image of others,
8. It isn't you having an entitlement mentality, always wanting to be treated specially than others, always wanting people to pity you and be considerate to you while you aren't to others, or always wanting a preferential treatment than others
9. Self love is not you being very charismatic and persuasive with people for your own self gratification. You tend to show false interest in people just because you want to get something from them and the moment you do, you drop them without a second thought.
10. Self love is not you having an exaggerated sense of self importance. You always feel that without you or your "magnificent" contributions to people's lives, they can't survive.
11. Self love is not you spreading negative emotions like throwing tantrums or getting upset at the slightest opportunity because you aren't getting any attention.
12. Self love is not you being too quick to judge, blame, criticize or name tag while you are extremely sensitive to criticism. You never want to hear that you're wrong
13. Self love isn't you being unapologetically manipulative. You always use people as an extension of yourself. You always spread guilt and want people to always be indebted to you. You want people to sacrifice their all for you just because, in your tiny little head, you think "I DESERVE IT ALL"
14. Self love is not you consistently cheating on your partner and then feeling hurt when they do it back at you.

Self love is basically;

1. loving yourself in an unbiased way
2. being able to take responsibility for your actions
3. having a positive mental attitude towards yourself, your flaws and not just embracing those flaws but working on them to become a gem that projects you positively to the world
4. allowing others to breathe just as you're breathing
5. investing in yourself and investing your time to more positive ventures
6. building your mind and protecting your thoughts 
7. working on your emotions
8. working at building a great personality that doesn't require you to bring down others to be elevated
9. Accepting people for who they are but aiming to make an impact in their lives
10. working on your spirituality to spread love and not hate
11. NOT BEING A NARCISSIST
12. and having a high self esteem.

So, if you're a self love addict, check yourself cos you just might be at the verge of becoming a selfish, egoistic, vain, morally decadent narcissist. 

Remember, this is my Frankly Speaking opinion.

Drop yours in the comments section below.

Cheers!